My, My Sasuke
by Apherion
Summary: Complete -My hands could never compete with his, but this was all I had.- All Sasuke would have, and all he would get. Until he learns the truth, he can't face the man who haunts him. ItachiSasuke. Mature. R&R.
1. Chapter 1

****

A/N: Ooh, another story. Hmm, it appears I've completely surrendered to yaoi since anyone last knew insert chorus to Addicted by Saving Abel Anyway, I've got my most taboo fic in-process, which you are about to read.

**Warning: Seeing as you have clicked the link of your own volition, I do not expect flames on any one of these topics: the fact that this fanfiction IS Itachi/Sasuke, the fact that they are brothers, the fact of a homosexual relationship existing (anywhere and wherever I want it to), or any other factor that the typical yaoi-flamer would jump at. I would like to formally point out, if you are a yaoi-flamer, please take careful note of the word to the right of 'yaoi' and that I'm applying it to you. Why, because you are the person begging not to be noticed for what you are by covering it up with bogus reviews. I would like to point out as well, the BACK button, if--by accident--you clicked the wrong link. My dear yaoi-flamers, this button is to be used by you as well because I do not wish to hear from you.  
Straying from the above rant (as in, you don't belong to the above category and actually want to continue reading), I would also like to remind everyone that this is a MATURE fiction. If you believe you cannot handle this story with grace, I must implore you to hit the back button.  
I'm quite sure, however, that most of you are basically saying, "Enough already! Get to the damn story!" So here you go.**

**BEFORE READING NOTATION:****  
****  
****_Flashback  
_  
(As in, anything in italics for more than four to ten consecutive words.)**

Disclaimer: I do not own, therefore I create fanfiction.

* * *

**My, My Sasuke**

**By: Apherion**

**Chapter 1**

This was such a cheap imitation.

My hands could never compete with his, but this was all I had. I had to make do.

Everything, the will to hate, the drive to live, and the need all disappeared in a haze of obsidian and crimson. I had been left on the ground, panting, trying to recover from my most recent near-death experience, battling to remain conscious, but that couldn't be helped. I had woken up in the hospital three days later in disappointment.

I was alone now, deep within my room, my hands under the sheets. My waist was deliberately covered by the comforter. I arched into my touch, feeling so…greedy tonight. I was trying to remember how he touched me so long ago. How many years since…? Ten, I decided, as I tried in vain to recreate how his hands had felt on my innocent skin.

Thank God I was allowed to come home from the hospital tonight—or I'd have an uninvited audience. I was held in that place for far too long, even though it had been only a few days. It was sheer torture as I fought with my unquenchable thirst for his hands; my sick, twisted insatiable _need_.

God this felt good!

And I was feeling greedy.

I wanted ecstasy before envisioning those hands that would tease me before release, or just leave me hanging if the owner wanted to. My hands were attached to my body—my _greedy_ body—and I couldn't stop myself. I never could.

When that realization hit, I rode out my self-induced orgasm half-heartedly, no longer into it. Why, why did it always have to end like this? Why couldn't I touch myself like he touched me? I felt the prick of tears, and I threw my pillow to the floor. I kicked my sheets off of the bed to remind me to wash them in the morning. I walked over to the dresser and opened the bottom drawer, empty save for one item: a blanket.

It was the only thing that I kept from my old home, because it smelled like him. The blanket that Mama made for him when he was younger, before I was born, was what he would wrap us in when I ran into his room with a nightmare at the front of my mind. The blanket was my escape—the exact interpretation of his arms enveloping me.

I wrapped the midnight quilt around my slender form and knelt to the floor. My hands braced against my knees and I felt my shoulders shaking. The tears came for me, washing over my visage. My stomach churned uncomfortably, excessively. The feeling caused me to choke, and I whispered the name of the one I longed for.

I felt abandoned, and the warmth that came from the blanket was nonexistent. The oddity startled me, and I brought the quilt to my face, inhaling a scent that could only be described as mine. I released my hold on the blanket, letting it drop to the floor.

I was overcome by my hunger, and I was dressing before I had made sense of it. I wrapped the blanket around my shoulders like a cloak. I was halfway to the Uchiha District—uninhabited and depressing in the middle of the night; lonely—before I noticed where my feet had led me. My reverie broken, I could clearly see why I was going back.

I _needed_ something of his, even if it meant curling up in the dusty, old room that he had forsaken.

The blood had dried on the floorboards and on the walls, but the scent—like the blanket's—was gone. My feet kicked up dust as I padded down the desolate hallway in my socks. I passed by the kitchen, remembering the exact way to our old bedrooms.

Once I had passed the living room, I took a left down the long corridor to the east wing of the mansion. Mama and Papa stayed in the west wing of the house so we couldn't disturb them at night.

At the end of the hallway were three doors, two on the left and one on the right. My room, the bathroom, and his room; I approached the door that stood between my goal and me. The wood protested as it was bothered by my hands, and once it was open, I staggered back.

* * *

_I was so excited to hear my brother was back, I ran all the way home from school. I was in such a hurry; I had forgotten to take off my shoes. I didn't hear Mama's 'Welcome home'. I must have left my manners at school, because I was sliding Brother's door open without so much as a knock. All I was concerned about was seeing my brother._

_I stood in the doorway, stunned. My brother was on his bed, but someone was on top of him, pinning him there by kissing my brother so forcefully. Though Brother kept his arms on the bed, he was using them as leverage to lean into the kiss and reciprocate it._

_My eyes were wide with the scene unfolding before them. Right as the man on top of my brother reached up his shirt did Brother's eyes open, spotting me in the entry. My heart stopped beating when he smiled, wrapping his left arm around the man's neck to pull him into a tighter kiss only to push him gently, but forcefully away._

_My eyes momentarily spared a glance at the man who followed my brother's gaze for the reason he was pushed aside. His eyes narrowed when he saw me. I recognized him from the scowl. It was our cousin Shisui._

_Not taking his eyes off of me, Shisui spoke evenly to my brother. "You should teach your younger brother it's rude to enter a closed room without knocking first." He was still glaring at me, clearly annoyed. I was too innocent to know what I had just interrupted._

"_It's okay, Shisui," Brother said in the placating tone he often used on me. "Sasuke's just overexcited that I'm home." I nodded to confirm my brother's words._

"_Even so, Itachi, he still needs to learn—"_

"_I will say when he is to be taught a lesson, not you." I saw my brother's eyes flash with anger, and for a moment I thought he was going to activate his sharigan. Shisui dropped his gaze, scolded by my brother and ashamed for being so outspoken. I looked away when I saw Brother's hand reach for our cousin's face, but I could see from the corner of my eye._

_Brother lifted Shisui's face up, cupping Shisui's cheek, and gracefully joined their lips together as if to say 'Forgive me' and 'I forgive you' at the same time._

_Shisui got up from the bed, followed by my brother. Our cousin continued to glare at me; even as he left the room, I could still feel his heated gaze. Blushing, I bowed to my brother._

"_W-welcome home," I stuttered, looking at my feet._

"_Come closer to me, Sasuke—or are you afraid of what you've just seen?" Brother's voice was compelling, and I couldn't do anything but obey it._

* * *

The room came back into focus for me, and I hesitantly stepped foot inside. I inhaled deeply once I was well enough in the room. The air was musty and stale—his scent had gone from the room as well. I knelt by the bed, undisturbed since the last time it was used, dust encasing the bed. My hands let go of his blanket to clutch the sheets on his bed.

How…how could this place change? This place wasn't supposed to change! This is where time stopped! My shoulders shook as I cried, clutching at the sheets like they were my lifeline. Everything, everything was gone—how could it all be gone?

I woke up, not remembering last night too well. I had fallen asleep with his blanket over me on his dusty bed. I moaned into his pillow, longing for his touch in the cold morning. It was so cold.

* * *

"Sasuke-kun," Sakura chimed, looking at me with a worried expression. I readjusted my eyes so I could look away from her face. She caught mine so I couldn't. In that instant I wanted to push her away from me, but I held myself back. "You're here for a check up," she said authoritatively, and I could almost hear him. I couldn't be sure what flashed in my eyes, but her concerned frown deepened further.

"A physical," I corrected, barely getting the simple sentence out of my mouth.

"They're the same thing." I nodded, speech abandoning me again.

The appointment with Sakura could have gone worse. She did her job, checking all of my vitals and blood pressure and whether or not I had the capability to fully rotate my shoulders. I didn't complain, I didn't really say much. I answered her questions as she asked them, only editing the more personal questions.

"You're all set," she said, an airy façade in place for my sake. "Come back and see me soon—even if you're not sick. Maybe you could grab lunch with me sometime so we can catch up?" It was a question, but I knew our friendship and almost-relationship fell flat because I was too stubborn to see what I was doing.

"Wouldn't Neji be upset with me?" Sakura's blush was the color of her hair.

"I'm sure he wouldn't mind our friendly meeting." She smiled gently, and placed a hand on mine. I didn't pull it back, afraid for her feelings. "But maybe you're right. I don't care though; come see me if something's bothering you, and I don't mean just the physical stuff either."

"That's a bit implicating, wouldn't you say?" I tried being soft with my accusation.

"No, that's a friend trying to find out what's wrong with their friend." Her childhood anger colored her tone as she spoke.

"I'm fine, Sakura-sa-chan." I caught myself before I used the wrong honorific. Her green eyes stared into mine for a moment.

"Sasuke," she whispered, dropping the pretense of honorifics, "I know that you and I haven't been on good terms these last few years, but…I'm worried about you. You're thinner, and some people have seen you sleepwalking to the Uchiha District."

"I'm not sleepwalking," I defended myself, and I bit my lip on revealing my current obsession.

"What are you doing there, then?" She inquired gently, rubbing my hand softly. Too soft, nothing at all compared to his touch. I looked away from her searching glance, and I pulled my hand from underneath hers as discreetly as I could.

I stood up, and made my way for the door. I was not obligated to stay any longer than necessary, and I was already finished with my check up. My hands rested on the door a minute before pushing it open a ways. I looked back at Sakura, dropping my right so I could get a better look at her.

"I don't remember," I whispered quietly, and then I slipped out the door. My slow footfalls began increasing in stride and tempo as I cleared the hospital's threshold for the outside. I didn't go home.

* * *

My independent feet carried me to the official building where the hokage works. This was completely out of character for me because I never saw the hokage of my own volition.

As I entered the building, I saw Shizune with the pet pig in her arms. She called out to me, but I darted past her, barely acknowledging her. I sped towards the office of our village leader, and despite my rush, I managed to knock on the door before throwing it open.

"Enter," was the calm voice on the other side of the door. I did, pushing the door open as quietly as possible. "What a surprise, Sasuke," and she sounded surprised. I nodded, noting how similar her smile and Sakura's smile were. I ignored the likeness, diving into my question.

"Tsunade-sama," I started with an edge of impatience and uncertainty. She just sat placidly in her chair, hands folded under her chin with her disconcerting smile in place. I swallowed to help my drying mouth. "Um, I was wondering if you knew where Kakashi-san is." Her smile softened further, and I knew she was trying not to make me feel uncomfortable.

"He hasn't been sent on any mission, if that's what you're really asking, Sasuke-kun," she smiled, and I nodded, bowing then taking my leave.

I was in the same amount of a hurry as I raced past Shizune again. This time, she didn't bother greeting or dismissing me as I did so.

* * *

I wasn't at all sure where to look for him. If I checked the bookstore, I'd have luck, but I was quite sure he owned all of the 'romantic' novels they sold so far. It was around lunchtime, but I didn't know where he ate at as of late. I sighed, my run slowing, my feet taking over as I delved into my thoughts again.

How could I not remember? I could feel a familiar twinge of pain run through my heart. I tried remembering everything, but nothing surfaced. Their faces all became blurry, and the only face in sharp—agonizingly so—focus was his. Another twinge rang through my entire body now.

"Sasuke," a voice only slightly muffled by fabric called out to me. I looked up, noticing the recognizable scenery. My feet liked taking me here, as if my body longed for the sick comfort I received from this place. Only, now there was an addition to the path I had taken.

"Kakashi-san," I said, between relief and reticence. He waved me to stand with him, and I did so willingly.

"What are you doing here?" He asked, and I felt he was asking the questions that would lead to my confession.

"I don't remember," I said, feeling my eyes prick with the coming onslaught of tears. Kakashi stared at me, his black eye widening.

"What is it that you don't remember?" His concerned voice did it. The tears slid down my cheeks, my heart feeling like it was being broke into two.

"I can't remember…Mama…Papa…any of them." I shook my head. "No…I—I remember only one…but it's not for the reason you might—no I know you'll think." I fell to my knees, curling myself towards them, enveloping myself because he couldn't. He wasn't there.

"Sasuke, what's the matter? It was a painful memory; of course you wouldn't want to remember." I shook my head again.

"Then why do I remember him!" I moaned thickly to my knees. I could almost hear Kakashi catch his breath on my words.

"You mean…you only remember…your brother?" Kakashi couldn't keep the shock from coloring his tone.

"I keep replaying the day he…he came home. I sprinted from school…and I—I barged in on him…" I trailed, clutching at myself as if to hold me together. Kakashi was further drawn in by this statement.

"What did you see when you walked in on him?" Kakashi did a better job at being professional about this. I didn't want to say.

"Kakashi-san…please…please promise me you won't…that you'll keep this in confidence. Please…please…" I pleaded over my tears.

"I won't say a word, but if there's an investigation and your information is vital to it…" Kakashi trailed.

"Even though…you…you taught us that teams…are supposed to l-look out for one another…" Kakashi sighed, giving into my demands on hearing my confession.

"Fine Sasuke, your secret or whatever this is…is safe with me."

* * *

**_TBC..._**


	2. Chapter 2

**My, My Sasuke**

**By: Apherion**

**Recap:**

**"Fine Sasuke, your secret or whatever this is…is safe with me."**

**Chapter 2**

* * *

Secret—that was the correct, no, the _definitive _word for what happened, and I was still unsure of how Kakashi would react. I had the go ahead, but I really didn't want to say. Saying it would mean how explicitly true everything was, and how much I missed him would be unavoidable.

"Sasuke…what happened when you walked in on your brother; _what_ was happening?" Kakashi's pressing questions helped spur me, but did little to raise my confidence. I sighed, knowing I had brought this upon myself. I rubbed at my face with my shirt, hoping that I had mopped up all of the tears.

"I came home, and I was in…such a hurry I didn't think about knocking on his door. I just flung it open…and I…I saw…" Shisui on top of my… "He was on top of him…" my voice died in my throat. Kakashi's audible intake of breath was not concealed, and he joined me on the ground, sitting in front of me.

"Who was on top of whom?" He asked gently, not touching me, giving me the space I needed to finish my story. I swallowed, my throat constricting painfully.

"Shi-Shisui," I choked. "Shisui was on…on…" I couldn't get it out, and I felt tears on my cheeks again.

"Your brother," Kakashi supplied solemnly. I could hardly nod, let alone verbally give assent. "How did you know it was Shisui?"

"Shisui was the only person he would…that could get that close to him besides…" I failed at my words again, still trying to control the sobs. It hurt, my heart hurt.

"Besides whom, Sasuke, who was allowed that close to your brother besides Shisui?" I shook my head at him, not wanting to let it out. I was ashamed. "Sasuke, I know it might be painful, but…you need to let whatever it is out before it consumes you." My throat tightened again, and I swallowed a few times so my speech couldn't be impaired.

"Sasuke…?" Kakashi's voice was kind, soft as he prompted me.

"Me," I whispered hoarsely.

"W-what?"

"He let only…Shisui…and…me…that close…" I clutched at myself harder, trying to suppress the loneliness, the heartache. I heard Kakashi fall back; he must've been on his heels. The gravity of my statement must've hit him hard, too.

"Sasuke…what does that mean, exactly?" Kakashi asked evenly. I could hear him mentally kicking himself for agreeing to my terms.

* * *

"_Come closer to me, Sasuke—or are you afraid of what you've just seen?" Brother's voice was compelling, and I couldn't do anything but obey it._

_My feet were like lead as I walked slowly towards my older brother. He motioned for me to sit with him on the bed. I crawled up, sitting next to my brother, too innocent to realize anything._

"_Aren't you happy to see me?" I nodded vigorously, but I couldn't move my lips. Brother caught my chin in his right hand, stroking my cheek with his left. I shuddered from the touch, feeling heat in my cheeks. He smiled down at me and his left hand went to my neck. My stomach swooned as he pulled me a little closer._

"_Nii-san…?" I asked nervously. He stopped and let me go, noticing how uncomfortable I was like that. He smiled ruefully at me._

"_What did you see, little brother?" He asked me gently, taking one of my hands in one of his, caressing it like he would a lush pillow or a cat. Brother was fond of cats, or I believed he was in any case._

"_Um…I saw Shisui and Nii-san on the bed…kissing…" I answered shyly, looking at his askew shirt. Brother laughed lightly and ruffled my hair with a free hand._

"_Of course you did," he said lightly, not at all ashamed of what had happened. "Do you know why I stopped?" I shook my head, perplexed at whatever my brother was trying to imply. He leaned into me, his lips brushing against my ear before he spoke. I squirmed, the tickling feeling reaching my stomach, heat rising once again to my cheeks. He held me still._

"_I wanted to be kissing you, little brother," he whispered. I was startled, the warmth in my face growing rapidly. I didn't even have time to recover from the statement before he pulled back just enough to chastely press his lips to mine. My head spun from the contact and did not reassemble itself after the kiss. I looked at my brother, whose hands had gotten lost in my hair, his forehead pressing against mine._

_His eyes were open, looking intently at me, looking for something that I didn't know. He brought our lips together for a second time, and my stomach convulsed, swirling like my head. When we parted, my eyes managed to focus momentarily onto his, and Brother must have found what he was looking for in my eyes._

"_Did that bother you?" His question was low and soft. I didn't know how to answer._

"_M-my stomach feels funny and…I can't think…" He smiled gently, his eyes softer than I had ever seen them. I wanted to see them like that more often._

"_So you don't mind it?" He asked me, running velvet hands through my hair._

"_N-no…I…don't mind," I muttered, feeling my cheeks redden. I saw him lean into me, looking into my eyes just before closing his as our lips connected for a third time._

_My eyes widened; the kiss was harder than the last two. He pulled me closer to him, one of his hands leaving my hair to wrap possessively around my waist, hauling me into his lap. I barely noticed that I was straddling his waist now, and I watched his eyes. They were shut tightly while at the same time they weren't. As I stared, I wondered what he was thinking, and I timidly put my hands on his chest. His eyes opened then from the slight pressure, and his hand released my hair._

"_It's rude to stare, Sasuke," he whispered breaking the kiss, staring into my eyes. "Close them when I kiss you." I nodded, and his lips were against mine once more. I closed my eyes tight, following his instruction._

"_Relax," he murmured against my lips, pressing his thumb in between my eyes to loosen the cease I was creating there. I followed his command, trying to loosen the muscles to my shut eyes._

_His lips were insistent on mine, and I felt his hand run underneath my shirt. I gasped at the warmth touching my cold skin, and he took advantage of the moment. His tongue breached my mouth, and stroked smoothly against mine. I shook as his warm hands touched me in an indivertible way. I was leaning into him more than I should have, but it felt _good_ to be held in his arms like this. I could _feel_ his love for me embraced like this._

_Brother then pulled back, and I felt like I couldn't breathe. I greedily took in gulps of air._

* * *

During the story, I managed to stop telling it to my knees and look up, but I kept my gaze fixed on the blue of Kakashi's pants. I couldn't bring myself to look at him. I felt my stomach churning uncomfortably as I sat there, anxious for Kakashi to pass judgment on me.

He sat deep in thought for what felt like hours, but my legs had gone numb during my retelling of past events. I could feel my heart beating faster, waiting for him to suddenly start calling me a sick child. He didn't, though. He took in a shaky breath and spoke the most relieving words I could ever hear at this point in time.

"There's nothing wrong with you, Sasuke." I felt like crying from all the strain I thought I had been under, but I vowed I wouldn't cry in front of Kakashi again unless I absolutely needed to. I could look at him now, feeling my shame fall off of my chest.

"There's nothing wrong with me?" I asked him, just to make sure I had heard him correctly.

"No, but that doesn't mean go blabbing this to everyone. I think…I think that you and I need to keep this little secret to ourselves. I don't think everyone will be as accepting of this…relationship, if you know what I mean." I nodded, understanding fully what he was getting at. "Now, I'm going to assume that he went further with you, perhaps…all the way? If so, then I _should_ add 'rapist' to his charges of 'traitor' and 'murderer', but seeing as you and I now have the whole 'doctor-patient confidentiality' rule applying to us, I can't, and I won't. Granted that you're not my patient and that I'm not a doctor, but I feel the rule still applies as per your demands upon my gaining this knowledge."

"No—I mean, yes the rules still apply, but It—my brother…" I shook my head, trying to rid it of the name I almost spoke. "My brother went further with me, but we didn't go _that_ far. I think…I think they went all the way though." My voice was low and I could feel the emotion begging to be released from me.

"Who's 'they', Sasuke?" Kakashi's inquisitive voice would have made for a great psychiatrist.

"Shisui…and…"

"Shisui and Itachi."

"Yes," I choked, tears being drawn out again. I couldn't stand the thought. My jealous heart couldn't stand the thought, and I was breaking my vow not to cry. "We would always get so close!" I cried. Kakashi was taken aback at my angry tone.

"You mean…you would have consented, knowing full well what would have happened?" I nodded, burying my face in my hands, feeling so much like a blubbering girl—like Sakura had been—it was unbearable. I could now comprehend her pain.

* * *

_Today, Mama and Papa had left to go on a mission that would take a week at the earliest to complete. Brother had made it home as soon as they had left, off for the week, as was I; it was spring break._

_He slid the door open, and I stayed in the hallway, waiting for him. I smiled at my idea, loving how it played out in my head._

"_I'm home," he called to me once the door was shut, and I darted from my hiding spot, leaping into him._

"_Welcome back," I cried cheerily to him. My arms tried to wrap around his middle, but I was much too small to encircle his waist completely. He laughed at my enthusiasm and lifted my chin up._

_He covered my lips with his, running his tongue along the outline of my mouth. My gasp gave him what he wanted, and he kissed me until I could feel saliva on my chin and white lights were blinking in my eyes. When he pulled back, my heart was pounding and I was clinging to him as though he was my lifeline._

"_I think that has to be the best 'welcome home' that I've received to date." I felt the blush creeping over my entire body at those words. We were quiet then, and Brother led me to his room, so far away from the entrance, all the way at the end of the east wing._

"_Even better than when Shisui-san welcomes you home?" I asked the blush coloring my cheeks, sending heat through my body. He looked at me, shocked at what I was saying. His lips descended on mine for only a moment, as if he was promising that he would answer once our lips disconnected._

"_You can't welcome me home like that, little brother." His lips caressed the outer shell of my ear, and as he spoke, heat lanced down my spine like a hot whip. How could I want to hit him for saying the words that meant he was waiting for me?_

_My smaller hands shoved against his chest, and he almost didn't catch on to my efforts. His hands had been around my waist, but they lifted to cup my face, to envelop it in warmth. Tears were spilling from my eyes, getting trapped between my cheeks and Brother's hands. His lips were so warm—consoling—as I cried; his tongue less foreign as he ran it along my bottom lip. He pulled back though, not completing the kiss, not enslaving me to his will I was so prepared to succumb to._

"_Why," he whispered in a desperate tone, brushing my bangs as tears dripped from my nose. "Why do you tempt me to go that far?" I sniffed, my shaky hands wrapped around his neck; my fingers tangling his beautiful hair. I pulled myself closer, pressing into his body, my lips searching blindly along his neck. I did not open my eyes to reach what I was looking for; afraid he would say I was being rude again._

_Warmth coated my mouth, his warmth, the warmth I had missed for those few days he had to leave. His tongue dipped into my mouth that I eagerly let open, bashfully stroking against his with mine. Enthusiastic at the touch, he gained dominance immediately. I gave in so readily because wanted to feel that tongue to touch me._

_As he ravished me, I was taken into his arms and lain delicately down on the bed. He pulled back enough so I could breathe, my chest rising and falling rapidly. He was much better at this, taking breaths while we kissed so he wasn't as ragged once he finished._

_His pale hand pushed the hem of my shirt up, exposing my soft flesh of my stomach to his rough warmth. He tugged it up further, and I raised my arms instinctively from being dressed and undressed. He smiled down at me, and I arched off the bed enough to let him slip the shirt from my body._

_Wet lips splayed affection over my neck, making me gasp. My fingers had extricated themselves from his hair, but now hung at my sides, twitching as his tongue ran an unbearable line from the base of my throat to just behind my ear. He noticed this and laced our fingers together as his lips descended to my Adam's apple to glide across my chest._

_He nursed on my shoulder, pulling some of my sensitive skin in between his teeth. I bit back my cry, not wanting him to stop for any reason on my account. I was jealous that Shisui could be the only with my brother like this. _I _wanted to be the only one with him like this!_

_One hand unlaced itself from mine, careful to tickle a burning path from my hand, down my chest, past my stomach, and to the front of my shorts. My hips arched involuntarily into the touch, and my brother's smile brought his teeth against my skin harder, biting the tender flesh. I couldn't stop myself from screaming at the sudden pain._

_Brother immediately stopped what he was doing, kissing the bruise forming on my right shoulder, looking up at me with apologetic eyes._

"_Sasuke," he murmured, his lips breathing against the aggravated tissue was comforting. "Do you want to stop?" I shook my head, begging silently with puppy-dog eyes. My shorts were off of me within seconds of the silent conversation and his lips were torturing my young body once more._

_He pulled my boxers down slowly, exposing the rest of me to him. I closed my eyes when I felt him kissing down my navel, making me squirm under his ministrations as he dipped his tongue in twice. But then, something drew my attention away from the amazing feelings I was experiencing._

_This feeling was new; Brother's breath felt cool as he blew a bit of air onto _me_ and I felt heat disperse into places that I didn't realize could do that. I was so new to this, I barely felt my brother's hands no longer touching my hands, but rather on my hips, his breath closer to an area I assumed was intimate. I didn't look; I mortified because I had no clue what was going on with my body. I felt my brother's chuckle resonate through me._

"_Relax, nothing's wrong. This will feel weird at first, but I'm sure you'll like it. I do." His velvet voice echoed in my head before I felt something wet and strong brush against my innocent length. I seized up, shocked at the feeling that exploded from that one, acute point to the millions of nerve endings through my body. I swallowed with difficulty._

"_Relax, little brother," he whispered, his lips caressing _that part_ of me. My hands managed to find the sheets, fisting them tightly as I focused to relax the rest of me. I was just getting used to Brother's lips _down there_—not second guessing him because he said _he liked it_—when his mouth had enveloped my member completely._

_My eyes shut tighter, trying to block out the strange, pleasurable feeling. I instead focused on how his hands were repositioning my legs to rest atop his shoulders, giving him better access to suck—I bit my lip, seeing white stars winking in my shut eyes. My stomach tightened as I felt his tongue sweep up and down in slow, smooth motions._

_His hands massaged mine, kneading the tightened knuckles to release the strenuous hold. I wouldn't, and I could taste blood in my mouth as his pace on me continued. My insides seemed to tighten so quickly and so painfully I was caught off guard, and my hands let go of the sheets and my teeth quit biting down on my lip as I arched into the touch of my brother's sweet lips._

_He pulled away from me, wiping his thumb across his chin only to lick the appendage. My eyes were half-open, staring at him with a mixture of astonishment and curiosity. He smiled before leaning over me to kiss my neck, my lips, while digging in his bedside table for something. When he had found what he was looking for, he pulled back, opening the small bottle. He put a sizeable amount on his fingertip and shut the cap to the bottle, throwing it carelessly onto the floor. He made sure that two of his fingers were well covered in the gel before looking back at me with a serious face._

_He kissed me roughly then, his tongue forcing my lips open in an uncharacteristic way. I whimpered, and realized belatedly that the kiss was meant to distract me. One of the fingers had pushed past the first barrier, filling me with a strange cold mixed with underlying heat. I didn't like it._

_I tried pulling away from it, but Brother made sure I was fastened to him; his other arm had snaked around my middle during the intrusive kiss. His finger was moving in me, and it felt so _strange_ to me. Brother broke the kiss, and I voiced my discomfort._

"_I—I don't like it," I complained shakily._

"_Does it hurt?"_

"_No," I admitted, "It feels weird."_

"_It will feel good, Sasuke." Just as those words were said, he slipped the other lubricated finger in, stretching me. I stiffened, trying to stop this one, but it hurt because he kept moving._

"_I-it hurts," I whimpered, feeling the two fingers scissoring and pushing in and out._

"_Relax," he murmured into my ear. "It hurts because you're so tight. You…" He pushed in one more time before pulling the offending appendages away from my body._

"_W-why did you stop?" I protested. He kissed my lips gently, wiping his hand on his shirt._

"_You're too young, right now, little brother."_

"_That's not a good reason," I glowered at him. He smiled genially at me, his lips touching my nose before moving to whisper in my ear._

"_I can't make you big enough for me right now without hurting you, so we're going to have to wait." I felt the blush flaming on my cheeks._

"_You're just saying that so I don't keep bothering you." He laughed at my statement, and his eyes met mine._

"_No, I'm saying that because I would hurt you if we tried going farther than your body is capable of right now."_

* * *

Kakashi was speechless. Who wouldn't be? This was a lot of information to take in on one day. I watched him, appreciating his stunned silence. It gave me a chance to think.

How would I feel if I learned that one of _my_ students in The Academy had the same tale as me—only with a few differences? Of course I'd be shocked, but I'd have a sense of relief that I wasn't the only one who loved someone I shouldn't. I thought that over, deciding that I wasn't able to look at the situation objectively.

"Sasuke," Kakashi said, pulling me from my reverie. I looked at him, wiping away the rest of my tears hurriedly.

"Yes, Kakashi-san?" He looked at me carefully, his black eye even more opaque than usual and his entire stature looking older than his age.

"I'm at my limit for shocking statements, stories, and the like. If you want to come with me for a few drinks, I'd be more than happy to pay for your rounds." It was my turn for astonishment.

"Thank you, Kakashi-san, but…I'm still a minor." I whispered it like a hush-hush thing. Kakashi startled me by laughing.

"When you're a ninja, you're a minor until you're eighteen, not twenty. After all, we could die waiting to be legal." He laughed at his carefree joke, and I couldn't help but join in with him.

"All right, if you insist." I felt honored—in a strange way—that Kakashi wanted to drink with me.

* * *

**_TBC..._**


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: Thanks for the reviews guys! Really glad you're liking it thus far.**

**My, My Sasuke**

**By: Apherion**

**Chapter 3**

* * *

I woke up the next morning and immediately felt like my head had been cleaved into two. I knew I shouldn't have had those last three rounds. Drinking with Kakashi was _not_ the best idea I've had in all of my eighteen years. Considering that I had obeyed certain laws despite the ones I had broken, not an ounce of sake had passed between my lips until last night.

What was I thinking? Oh, right…

The hangover was thrumming against my skull, the inflammation in my brain feeling as though it was increasing by the second. I moaned in agony. If the intensity of the attack on my head wasn't going to kill me, the images that were flashing in my mind's eye would.

I wanted to curl into a ball and hide from my happiest memories. I wanted to go back to hating him. I wanted to go back to denying that I still loved him. I wanted to go back to the past where everything was uncomplicated in the eyes of an innocent boy, and my only worry was I'd never welcome my brother home like Shisui.

I couldn't fight the memories, and I just lay there, taking each as another blow to my already devastated heart.

There we were, his lips caressing my hipbone, dragging his tongue in a sensual line.

His welcoming embrace was waiting for me during the thunderstorm, knowing all too well how much I was afraid of that thunder.

He was there at my bed, holding me tucked in his arms, pressing his lips across tear-stained cheeks when I woke up screaming from a nightmare.

When he took me out for some shopping Mama had wanted us to do and he bought me a small, crystal bear.

Seeing the look of forgiveness on his face; I confessed to accidentally breaking the bear while he was away on another mission.

The feeling of security while he held me in his arms, falling asleep without any trouble; happy that it was _me_ he was sharing this with, and no one else.

But there has always been 'someone else'. My brother never had just me. He had Shisui whenever, wherever he wanted him, and Shisui and I knew our places in my brother's lust. Shisui, the one he was rough with, and me, the one he was so gentle with, as if I were made of glass. We envied each other, dying for a taste of what the other had. Shisui must've known he would never have the affection as long as I could grow up.

I bolted out of my horizontal position, my head swimming from the sudden movement, throbbing from the hangover.

I stumbled out of my bed, looking right and left for the door. My feet precariously carried my weight through my bedroom door towards the kitchenette where I collapsed over the countertop. I opened the cabinets to my left, searching for the ibuprofen or aspirin. I found the latter and took two with a huge glass of water. I stuffed the thin bottle into a pocket before grabbing the apartment key and running out of the door.

Despite that I had shut it quietly; the sound that refracted in my head was of me slamming it. I hunched over from the onslaught of noise. Pain darted through my nerves; normal human speech was painful to listen to. I _swear_ I'm not going to drink like this again.

* * *

I leaned my ear against my shoulder, blocking the other with its corresponding hand as I reached up to knock on the door. No one answered, but I tried the knob, surprised to find it open. I let myself in; I needed to speak with him after all.

"Kakashi," I called out softly in the living room area. My own voice echoed in my head, the name pounding in my head. It would be another thirty or so minutes before the aspirin would take affect.

"STOP SHOUTING," Kakashi responded loudly. My hands flew to my ears, to block out the angry assault.

"You stop shouting," I said back. I saw my ex-teacher stagger into the room, eye bloodshot and droopy. Instantly I thought of a bloodhound. His hair was scraggily, flopping in a bed-head manner, unkempt and uncombed, over his scarred eye. I barely took in that his mask was off along with his forehead protector.

"I'M NOT SHOUTING," Kakashi shot back, leaning heavily against the wall before lurching into the couch. It clicked in my head belatedly. Duh, hangover. When I saw that he was looking, I tossed the thin bottle of aspirin at him and he caught it, popping in three.

"What is it that you wanted, Sasuke?" Kakashi asked, his voice at a normal level, but he was probably barely speaking.

"I…I think I know something…about _why_ the—my clan was killed." Kakashi nodded, leaning his head back on the sofa, getting comfortable.

"Let's hear your theory then. I've been thinking a bit myself." I smiled at that, and began to tell my thoughts.

"Well…I realized that Shisui and I were 'sharing' It—my brother." My head hurt, but not from the hangover this time. "Or rather, he was sharing himself between Shisui and me. Anyway, Shisui was the one my brother took all of his, um…sexual frustration out on, and I was the one that my brother doted on and gave affection to." Kakashi nodded in encouragement, but my chest had seized up for some reason. Swallowing became a little more difficult, and breathing became a chore.

"Well, it's possible that Shisui figured out that he was not the only one in my brother's life. He knew I was the 'someone else', and what if…he noticed that he would be cast aside once…I could…fulfill my brother's…desires?" Kakashi followed where I was getting at with this perfectly, in spite of my hesitation.

"Shisui probably made an attempt at taking your life, and that's why _he_ was the first to go, not just because Itachi wanted the Mangekyo Sharigan." I winced at my brother's name, but Kakashi didn't seem to notice.

"The rest of the family was probably getting suspicious about the two of you, as well. I know, Sasuke, you were very careful, but Shisui probably could have been the root to the entire problem. It would be like he was the 'x' factor or the catalyst in your problem." I felt my heart wrench because one night I had overhead Papa discussing a letter with Brother. I didn't hear what the letter said though, but the next night…_that_ happened.

I was floored to say the least. I figured that Shisui had started it, but I didn't think that he would have actually been the entire reason. I _couldn't_ believe that our clan's death was because of one person's unrequited love.

Yes, I knew now that Shisui loved my brother. I was too young back then to discern the look of hatred our cousin had given me on several occasions. Shisui loved Brother, but he could not—or rather—_would_ not give him up to me without a fight. A fight that I wasn't prepared for at that age and Shisui used that to his advantage. He must've been caught at his scheming and my brother stopped him immediately.

However, there wasn't a struggle. No one heard Shisui scream. No one heard the water splashing. Did Shisui love Brother enough to let him drown him for his inexcusable actions?

"Sasuke, are you all right? You're face…you're white," Kakashi interjected my thoughts with his worried question. I choked down the hysteria, but my voice was still two octaves too high.

"Yes," I piped, cutting the sound short because of my strained vocals. My heart was beating faster and my palms seemed to be overcome with sweat. I wasn't about to cry, but this information—what I had come up with, what Kakashi supplied—was too much right now. I wanted to _hurt him_ for doing this to me, and the hurt I wanted to inflict had nothing to do with the massacre of our clan this time.

"Sasuke, would you mind if I ask you a few questions? I think it would be best as I am your only confidante." I stiffened at his words, and my lips began moving before I could stop them.

"You are not my only confidante." Each word was stated with painstaking evenness; I barely managed to speak in a monotone. Kakashi's head slowly lifted from the back of the couch to stare at me, interested in my answer.

"Oh, do you see Itachi on a regular basis?" I cringed away from the name, hating every syllable, each vowel, the very consonants that made that beautiful man's name. I think Kakashi saw how I shuddered at the mention of my brother.

"No," I whispered grudgingly, turning my face away to look at the wall. I come to his image every night; I finished the statement in my head.

"Then Sasuke, right now I _am_ your only confidante." I wanted to protest, but I had a tight hold on my impulses. "All right, I'd like to get on with my questions, if you don't mind." Kakashi's voice had a hint of a business tone. I made no noises to indicate that I would comply with him. After all, Kakashi was agreeing to be an accomplice to a _very _damning relationship, whether or not it would continue.

"Sasuke, can you still only see your brother? Is he the only Uchiha that you can remember?" I nodded, not even bothering to try and remember Mama or Papa or even Shisui. Shisui would only make me angrier, so I definitely wouldn't try recalling his image in perfect focus.

"Sasuke, have you honestly _tried_ to recollect any members of your family excluding Itachi?" I winced, my knees jerking up into my chest, my arms embracing them. I nodded as I looked at the fuzzy image of three people in the kitchen; the only one in sharp focus was my brother.

"Why do you flinch at the sound of Itachi's name?" My recoil caused me to close in on myself, to hide myself away from the name. Why did I run from the sound of it? My memory refused to let go of the introduction, and it was painful to hear it over and over again.

* * *

_I was on my way home. I wasn't the shortest in my class, thankfully, but from the how the day had went, I guess I didn't look very masculine to anyone with a 'y' chromosome. Iruka-sensei had even gone so far as to say that he thought I was Ten-Ten. Why did all of the guys think I was a girl?_

_My first day at The Academy could have gone a lot worse though. No one tried to stuff me in a locker, and a lot of girls wanted to be my friend. There was one kid named Naruto that was friendly with me, too, but some of the others told me to stay away from him. They wouldn't give me a good reason why though, just that their parents had said to stay away from him._

_I was glad my first day was over, despite all of the fun classes I had. I was tired, and I was pretty sure my big brother was supposed to be home from one of his missions. I wanted to see my brother._

_I started running at the thought. If I got home faster, then that would mean I'd get a chance to hang out with my brother longer—wouldn't it? I could probably help him during his shuriken practice by picking up the shuriken for him. Yeah, I could do that!_

_Before I knew it, I was sprinting off towards home. However, I wasn't paying attention to where I was going when I slammed into a person walking in front of me._

_I bounced off of the older boy, landing on my backside. He turned around to face me, anger in his eyes. The two boys that flanked the one I ran into glared menacingly at me. I shook with fear because these boys had to be genin or chuunin._

"_Lookie here, boys, a little girl that's on her way home from school," he said mockingly. I pouted, my eyebrows pulling together in annoyance._

"_I'm not a little girl!" I cried in protest, getting to my feet. The three boys looked at each other and laughed. The one that spoke to me leaned down and ruffled my hair._

"_Of course you are—what little boy has long hair?" I blushed in anger._

"_I am not a girl!" I screamed hotly. The boys roared with laughter at my denial. Then, the leader's fingers gripped my hair, yanking my head to one side. I cried out in pain._

"_There's only one way to find out, isn't there, sweetheart?" He whispered in my ear. I didn't get to know what he meant by that, and I didn't find out. I heard my brother's voice sound behind the group._

"_Get your hands off of him." The boy that had my hair in his hands let me go, pushing me away from him like I was some insect._

"_And who are you, pretty boy?" One of the other boys asked my brother. I couldn't see him, but I could tell he was smiling as he spoke._

"_I am Itachi Uchiha." I stood up, running to get beside my brother, longing for his presence after being frightened. The boy that had grabbed me glared at my brother. "If you _ever_ touch my brother again, I'll see to it that you—"_

"_Nii-san…" I whispered, tugging on the hem of his shirt. He looked down at me with soft eyes, gently brushing my hair away from my face. "What's wrong?"_

"_Nothing's wrong, little brother." His voice was gentle, too, but his eyes barely flicked up at the three boys, silently telling them something._

"_N-no, nothing's wrong at all. You two take care, Itachi-san." All three of the boys bowed in respect before hightailing it away from us. I was curious about their reaction, but if I asked questions about them, I would lose precious time with my brother._

* * *

"I still don't understand," Kakashi said to me, his eye gazing into mine with a burning to grasp what was so meaningful from the memory.

"It…it was the only time I heard him say…his name," I whispered, seriously feeling as though Kakashi was my psychiatrist. After all, wasn't a shrink someone you spilled all of your intimate details with because you knew they would not tell anyone about your secrets?

"And the reason why you flinch…?" Kakashi coaxed.

"No one can say his name…like he can. Everyone else just…screws it up." I was expecting Kakashi to laugh, but he didn't. He continued to stare at me, waiting for me to elaborate, but there wasn't anything to elaborate on. My brother had the most perfect voice in the world, and after hearing his name come from his lips, I deemed it only right that he should be the only one to say it.

"All right…could you see the three boys that almost molested you?" I wasn't startled that he had chosen that word. After reviewing that memory for so long, I was convinced that had Brother not shown up, that's exactly what would have happened. My eyebrows knitted together, though. I _couldn't_ remember the three boys. My heart began to race, and I looked at Kakashi with wild eyes.

"Why can I only see him?" I asked hysterically. I could not remember one face from my childhood except those of the people I saw on a daily basis. Naruto, Choji, Shikamaru, Ino…Sakura, Neji, Hinata, Lee, Ten-Ten, Iruka-san, and a couple of other teachers—they were the only ones from his childhood that he could see. Even so, if _he_ was in the memory somewhere, no one stood out more than he did. I could only seem him.

I wanted to run, scream, throw a tantrum, but I knew that would not get me anywhere. In the end I still wouldn't have my memories, and I still wouldn't have him. The latter thought would have sent me over the edge if I hadn't heard someone pounding on Kakashi's door.

He excused himself, and I felt abandoned and infuriatingly exposed in my weak state-of-mind. I could hear Kakashi open his door and the voice the floated in after he did so.

"Good morning, _sensei_," the girl said with heady tone in place. I had to strain to hear Kakashi's reply.

"Ssh, Sasuke's in the living room right now, and I'd rather him not—"

"You'd rather him not what, Kakashi-_sensei_," she stressed his title again. "Why can't we tell him right now?"

"This is a delicate matter, and right now, Sasuke doesn't need _this_ to contend with his already conflicting thoughts." Kakashi sounded like he was losing his patience with the girl.

"And what thoughts might those be, hmm?" She questioned him.

"I've promised not to say, and you'd do well to forget about them, as well…_chan_," he sounded as though he was threatening her then, stressing her title like she had done his, but I missed her name.

"Fine, I'm not like some people who can't let things drop. Call me when I can come over. I've missed you." Her voice sounded familiar, but I couldn't place who she was. I heard the door shut, and Kakashi came back into the room, looking more tired if that was possible.

Raking a hand though his disheveled, silver hair, Kakashi's eye met both of mine. He sighed and slumped into his sofa again. He didn't relax into the couch, though. He sat in it like he would a normal chair, bringing his elbows to rest on his knees.

"Sasuke, I think I have an answer for your question." I waited, sitting up straighter myself. "I think the reason why you only see him…is because…" Kakashi took in a deep breath before slowly exhaling. "You love him beyond what you should."

* * *

**_TBC..._**


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: I know, everyone. "Sasuke, duh! How could you not know?" Hopefully this chapter redeems me, XD.**

**Disclaimer: Ch-yeah I wish I owned this, 'cause then I could do so many things to these characters, MWAHAHHAHA... HAHA... Ha ha... ha /cough/ Moment's over.**

**My, My Sasuke**

**By: Apherion**

**Chapter 4**

* * *

Kakashi didn't have to spell it out for me.

It shouldn't have taken this long, and I shouldn't have needed someone else to tell me.

So why was I stunned to hear that I loved my brother…too much?

Kakashi's hand patted my shoulder gently, understandingly. My wide eyes looked up at him, and I fought to keep myself from panicking. Yet, my breathing still quickened and my heart rammed against my ribs.

"Sasuke…it's all right. I'm not going to tell anyone unless you want me to…unless you really _want_ professional help." 'Professional help', the words bounced within my head. What did that mean, exactly? Was Lady Tsunade going to operate on my head? Did she even know _how_ to erase memories? No, I didn't want to know what Kakashi meant by 'professional help'.

"N-no…no help…just you…and me," I whispered frantically, hesitantly. Kakashi nodded solemnly. I saw pity in his eye as he looked down at me.

"Then I won't say anything." The pity wasn't because I was _in love _with my _brother_, but I couldn't place it. I had never seen that look before in anyone's eyes. No…I take that back. I _had_ seen this look before, but it was for a different reason.

The entire village had given me this look ten years ago. The look clearly stated, 'I feel sorry for you because you will never see your family again', but Kakashi's pitying gaze differed in meaning. 'I feel sorry for you because you have lost your brother forever.' That's what Kakashi was saying to me.

I shook off Kakashi's hand, breaking away from the crushing look. I refused to believe that I had lost my brother, and I was not going to wait for him to come back and find me here clinging to an old memory. I stood, and it must have been abrupt because I startled my ex-teacher.

"Where are you going, Sasuke?" He asked me, concerned about my well-being or sanity. At this point, I really couldn't distinguish between the two.

"I'm going…" I hesitated, wondering mildly if Kakashi would stop me. I inwardly shrugged then, not caring. "I'm going to find him." Kakashi looked at me, appraised me more like, before turning his back on me.

"Do what you will, but if you want to be kept from being labeled 'rogue' again, I suggest you request a mission from Tsunade-sama." The man had a point.

As I was leaving the house, I heard Kakashi dialing a number on his phone. I wanted to leave the house, not curious enough to want to know who the girl was, and I shut the door right as Kakashi said, "Hello."

I flew to the hokage's office, not bothering to reserve chakra. I needed to see her, to request my mission, and I needed her to approve it because I needed to see _him_.

I raced into the office, blowing by a receptionist carrying too many papers. I almost felt sorry for her, but I was in a hurry. I couldn't help her pick up the mess I had made.

I knocked on Tsunade's door, reminding myself not to look too keyed up. I would have to remain calm and collected in order to be allowed this mission. Jounin or not, I was still requesting a mission that would require me to appear in all accounts sane. I needed to be perfect for just a few minutes.

"Enter," she spoke from her side of the door. I twisted the knob, letting myself in her office. She sat with her hands folded under her chin, staring at me calmly. "I just finished a short conversation with Kakashi-san." My heart fell into my stomach. I can't let her see. Composure, keep your composure! I shouted in my head, waiting for her to continue. She didn't, so I prompted her.

"If I'm not overstepping my bounds in asking, what did Kakashi-san say, Tsunade-sama?" Proper, I thought, very respectful.

"No, you may know. Kakashi-san called to inform me that you would be requesting a mission and that it would be in yours and my great interest if I accepted whatever you proposed to do. Please enlighten me to the mission you want to take on." I swallowed, feeling my heart lodged in my throat now.

"I wish to…go on a reconnaissance mission…alone." Her eyebrows rose.

"You do realize that doing so is an A-rank mission, if not bordering S-rank."

"I understand completely."

"And you are fully competent? You are aware of what you are asking for and you comprehend the dangers of such a mission."

"I accept full responsibility for myself. I am requesting this mission because I do not wish to be a rogue ninja. I am requesting to do this mission alone because it is a mission I cannot complete with a full team." Tsunade nodded, deep in thought with her eyes staring at her desk.

"Where are you planning to do your surveillance?" I did not look away from her as I spoke, standing tall.

"It is not a 'where' that I'm planning on investigating. Rather, it's more of a 'whom'." Tsunade did not look up from her desk at hearing the news. She didn't speak, either, lost in her thoughts. I knew she wanted to know everything I had shared with Kakashi. I could almost hear it; 'What could Sasuke possibly gain from going on a reconnaissance mission alone?'

"I'm going to go out on a limb here and guess that you're going after the Akatsuki." I nodded once; she could at least know that much. "Why Sasuke—do you believe you've improved that much?" So she thought I was going to…going to… I swallowed again.

"I'm strong," I retorted, wording it in a way that made her still believe I was going to do what she thought.

"Sasuke," she sighed tiredly, "I know you want to avenge your clan, but don't you think it can wait?"

"Yes, that's why this is a reconnaissance mission, Tsunade-sama." She nodded, dropping her hands and grabbing a sheet of paper.

"You have my permission," she replied in a defeated tone. "Report to me immediately should anything go wrong, and Sasuke?" I looked over my shoulder, still reaching for the door handle. "Be careful."

"Yes, Tsunade-sama," I replied before opening the door and leaving her office.

She shouldn't worry about me, I thought as my feet moved sluggishly through the building. And Kakashi shouldn't either, but I guess he has more of a right than anyone else.

* * *

I was ready to go by nightfall.

I was fidgeting with my pack, fingering the blanket underneath the closed lid. I shut my eyes momentarily, my hand drifting towards my slowly forming erection. I bit on my lip, refusing to touch myself right now.

No, not now—later, I have to leave now if I'm going to be able to go after him. Ignoring my libido, I hoisted my bag onto my shoulders. My feet were soundless as I escorted myself out of the Leaf Village, darting away under the cover of night.

I would check where he left me to bleed to death first. I needed clues to where he might have gone, but I wasn't going to hold out much hope for the rocky gorge to produce the results I wanted. After all, it had been over two weeks since the attack. I would go into the Rock Village next if the gorge yielded nothing to advance my cause.

I leapt from tree to tree, feeling my knees rocking against my abs in a sinuous movement, barely leaving an impression on the ground the few times I was forced to drop to the forest floor. It was when my eyes began to droop when I realized exactly how much chakra I had been using so thoughtlessly. I would have to stop if I wanted to survive tomorrow.

Slowing, despite how much I didn't want to, I soon came to a halt, standing rather securely on a thin, but sturdy tree branch. I activated my sharigan, hoping to find something useful in the red glow that replaced the blackness of night. Suddenly, I had a strange feeling that I wasn't alone.

I looked around me, seeing nothing, hearing nothing. The only thing that was bothering me was the peculiar sensation thrumming about my midriff. I moved lithely from my perch, crouching low to the shrubbery that was scattered along the ground. The feeling didn't go away.

I ignored the feeling, praying it was my imagination running away with me, and went towards a cave that I had spotted before becoming distracted by my suspicious thoughts. I did not burn a fire, thinking it would be tempting fate to light one, but I did pull out his blanket.

I wrapped the material around me, laying my head on my pack in hopes of finding solace in sleep. Before I drifted off, the awkward stirring I had floating in my stomach disappeared.

My dreams didn't bother me though the night, and I was able to keep my eyes shut. My hands stayed where they were supposed to, above the cover, and my heartbeat was soft as it pumped languid blood through my veins.

I didn't hear anything out of the ordinary, either. I was peacefully left alone until morning.

I rose early enough to see the sun break over the horizon, and my heart gripped at my chest, my breathing hitched uncomfortably. Every reminder did this to me. Why…why did I have to only remember him?

* * *

_I was being shaken awake. I was startled, and almost screamed, but I noticed the warmth of his hands. Their familiarity…I could never forget how they felt on me._

_My bleary eyes looked up at him in confusion._

"_It's early, nii-san," I complained, looking at him, wanting to roll over and fall back asleep. His lips touched my cheek softly. He breathing was slow, hot on my flesh._

"_I know, but I wanted to show you something that you can only see this early," he murmured into my ear. My cheeks felt the heat coloring them, but my eyes were steady as I looked up at my brother._

"_What are you showing me?" I asked, still groggy from sleep. He smiled at me._

"_You'll go with me then?" I paused, not ready for the question, stunned that he hadn't realized that I would go anywhere with him. I nodded dizzily, reaching up for his neck with my small hands. My eyes weren't focused and I caught hold of the black shirt adorning his taut chest._

_His smile seemed to darken for the slightest of moments, but he lifted me from the bed, putting me on his back like he had done so many times before. I grinned into his neck, burying my face there. My small arms wrapped around him tightly._

_I whispered something incoherently against his throat, and I felt his laugh reverberate through me. I could feel myself slipping out of consciousness, falling back into the sweet dreams that I had been wished last night by our parents._

"_Sasuke," he whispered, his voice alerting me that we had stopped moving. I looked around me. Was I really asleep for that long? It only felt like a couple of minutes. From the surroundings, I could tell we were outside and that Brother had woken me up while there was still no light in the sky. Faint stars winked out of existence as pink began to rise over the hilltops._

"_Nii-san…what are we…?" I was lost as to what we were doing. I felt his laugh again, hearing the softness in his voice. He lifted me from his back, letting my feet support my weight, but he still held me in his arms. My back was pressed into his body, but somehow his lips were against my ear._

"_The sunrise, little brother." My eyes widened to the sight before me with newfound interest. I could see how the pink and gold melded together. The intricate patterns formed by the clouds dancing in the sky, tinged orange from the excess light given off as the sun barely made its appearance above the grassy hills. I was in awe of the artistry presented to me, and when the sun finally debuted before my not-so-innocent-but-still-childish eyes, I was absolutely enthralled by the sight._

_Time stood still for me in that moment, being held in his arms, I hadn't noticed that he had straightened up to be more comfortable as he watched the scene bloom before us._

_I turned into him then, wrapping my arms around him in what I thought was a crushing embrace. I felt one of his hands delving into my hair, stroking the short, black locks. I reacted to the touched by moving closer into him._

_His caresses shifted from my hair to my face, gently coaxing me to lift my chin, which I did without further persuasion. His lips were smooth like marble as they pressed against mine, his tongue quickly pushing past my shut lips. The caresses of his tongue were smooth, brushing sensually against mine._

_I stood on my toes, reciprocating the kiss, my arms still tight around his waist. His hands found my hair again, his fingers splaying within the strands, but then he tugged me away lightly. His eyes stared down at me, and I snuggled closer to him, not wanting to break away from him._

"_Good morning, little brother," he said quietly, before he kissed my forehead and extricated himself from my hold._

* * *

The sun was fully up now that my memory had played itself out. I wrapped myself in the blanket, longing for that kiss once more. A longing I never should have had to begin with, but here I was in search of the very thing I shouldn't have. I was human after all.

* * *

**_TBC..._**


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: Don't worry. Itachi will appear soon. Opportune moments, guys, opportune. Thanks so much for bearing with me and sending reviews.**

**My, My Sasuke**

**By: Apherion**

**Chapter 5**

* * *

I arrived at the gorge when the sun was forty-five degrees from being directly overhead. I didn't delay in the work that had to be done. I was duly convinced this was what I needed, however wrong it may be to be under that impression.

Upon my first inspection of the chasm, I found nothing. I didn't expect to as it was just a quick survey of where we had fought. However, by the fourth time of combing the area, I was still hard pressed to find anything that could be a semblance of a clue. I wanted to give up then, but I knew better than that. I would _do_ better than that.

My frustration continued to steadily rise as I skipped lunch to continue my agonizing search, each time turning up fewer results than the last. At one point, I managed to count myself into the negatives only to realize that my arithmetic had never been that of a top student.

Cursing, I persisted on my hopeless plight, while trying to keep my memories at bay. I needed to focus, and I couldn't allow myself to let those hands touch me now—not when I wanted it to be his hands and not mine. But I still could not find anything that remotely resembled my brother.

Surely, _surely_ there was something that I would find. My fingers were sore from picking apart the gorge, searching with desperation. Each exploration I would finish more discouraged than the last, every time thinking about giving up. Yet, his face tore at my heart, and I would continue to look for anything that wasn't rocks, kunai, or blood.

I faced the canyon wall, drawing my arm back. Without thinking, I threw my fist against the wall, splitting a crack in the rock and making a semi-deep impression. My hand throbbed from the power behind the blow.

Despite my shock, I wanted to scream, to yell out all of my pent up frustrations. If only he could see me now, fanatically looking for anything that could lead me to wherever he may be.

I turned my back to the wall, sliding down until I reached the bottom…rock bottom. I buried my face in my hands, grieving for losing something so precious without even realizing how valuable it was.

I prayed for some miracle to happen. I was desperate enough to want everything to revert back to how it once was. I would gladly go back to being a slave—a soon-to-be body—for Orochimaru, when I had been too blind by my thirst for power to notice the feelings simmering away in my subconscious. I would hand Naruto over myself, while he was still wanted by the Akatsuki for the kyuubi inside of him. Anything so I would have some assurance I'd see _him_ again—sooner than later.

My head tilted back with my eyes closed, weary from the physically and emotionally exhausting day. The sun had begun to set, casting long shadows off of certain formations in the rocks, and that's when I saw it.

Something was wrong with one of the structures of rocks and the sunset pointed it out unequivocally.

I pushed myself from my spot on the ground into a standing position, no longer feeling the fatigue of a long day. I sprinted to the anomaly in the rock, seeing the fissure up-close as if for the first time today. A piece of cloth hung just millimeters out of the crevice, and I tugged on the small amount I could see.

I drew out the rest of the shirt with ease, the black top twice my height and a size larger across the shoulders.

I stared in disbelief at the shirt, recognizing a tear in the fabric too thin to properly cover a ninja's torso.

The shirt was like silk to my fingertips, and I could imagine the hands that grabbed this garment. They were the same hands that would strip this shirt off with agonizingly unhurried movements as the owner of the body would slowly advance on me.

I shook my head to ignore its last thought, not entirely erasing the imagined picture of the two of us. I pulled the shirt to my face, hoping the material had retained his scent. I inhaled deeply, my senses receiving volts of energy from the action. His cologne was faint, but the fragrance that I was breathing could only be owned by my brother.

His cologne was the same as I always could remember, spicy-sweet like cinnamon apple or pumpkin caramel. The scent that clung to every pore on his body was more difficult to describe perfectly. He smelled like rain or a waterfall pouring into a mixture of green tea and lavender, but there were undertones to the scent that were always too faint for me to pick out.

I clutched the shirt as if it were a lifeline. I didn't need to know that the stars were coming out, and I didn't care that my stomach was growling. All I wanted was to be left alone with my brother's article of clothing and dream about seeing him again.

* * *

_We were lying on the ground on his blanket, staring up at the darkening sky. It was summertime, and the stars were bright as they slowly appeared. Brother's hand was touching mine, and I wasn't really paying attention to the beauty he was exposing me to. After all, what more could I have asked for at the time? A kiss, perhaps, but we both knew what I really wanted, and he continued to deny me._

_I had insisted to him that I had grown, desperately dragging him to my growth chart on the wall to prove that I was getting taller. He, however, just chuckled at my eagerness and patted my hair. It angered me to the point of tears because I wanted to be the first Brother would see when he came home. I wanted to mean more to him than Shisui did. I wanted my brother's attention for myself._

_I made my hand clasp his as we gazed up into the never-ending sky, twinkling from the white lights embedded there. I gained no reaction from him; my brother just lay there, smiling contentedly up at the night sky with me. My patience was wearing thin._

_I tilted my head back far enough to give me a view of the house. Mama and Papa weren't home right now, doing something in town called a 'date', but I still couldn't help feeling paranoid. I wasn't supposed to tell Mama or Papa, or anyone for that matter, what Brother and I did. It was our 'little secret' as Brother liked to put it._

_I shifted closer to him, again receiving no response from my effort. Brother didn't even glance at me to see what I was doing. He did, however, notice when my fingers detached themselves from his to trace soft trails up and down his forearm. I could feel his gaze on me as I watched my pale fingers slide against equally fair skin. The muscles tightened reflexively, and my brother's breathing changed._

_He pulled me on top of him then, grasping my chin to capture my lips in a searing kiss. The uncontained strength jarred me, and I panicked in his hold. My still-too-small hands pressed ineffectively against his chest as his tongue forced its way into my mouth. I couldn't think as warmth flooded my senses. I was being devoured by him, but this wasn't the pleasurable sensation I had before. This was different, scary._

_My eyes remained shut; not wanting to know what would happen if I opened them, afraid of what I might see. Brother never acted this way around me. For the first time he wasn't treating me like a China doll, but I couldn't, I _wasn't_ enjoying it._

_My stomach was swooning uncomfortably as his tongue delved into my mouth, rougher in his exploration than he'd ever been. I couldn't breathe in his hold. He was sucking away my air as he bruised my soft lips with his insistency._

_His other arm snaked around my waist, reaching underneath my shirt to sketch the outline of my spine. I shivered at his warmth, wanting to escape as he pinned me to his body. He barely retracted from my lips before his hand grasped the back of my neck to compel me into his kiss once again. The other hand was warm against the small of my back, but it didn't continue drawing along my spine._

_As his hand dipped into my shorts, I tried to get away, pushing against his chest unsuccessfully. His kiss was hard on my tender lips, and I tasted blood in my mouth as his teeth scraped against my lower lip. His fingers splayed across my flesh, and I braced myself against the action, tensing. Two digits pushed firmly inside of me, sending a ripple of pain through my entire body as they roughly stretched my sensitive, young body._

_My scream was muffled by my brother's lips, but he still heard it. The hand on the back of my neck let up only to force me to his chest, fastening me there, holding me down. I was sobbing, afraid that he would continue with ravishing me until there would be nothing left. My fears were wasted, however. Slowly and as gently as he could, he withdrew his fingers from within me. I wailed at the pain that shot through my spine._

_Brother's lips kissed at my eyes, but it didn't prevent me from crying against him. I was terrified by what had possessed my brother. I felt the tears my brother had missed spilling down my cheeks and onto his shirt. Brother clutched me to him, but I didn't look at his face. My wide, streaming eyes, glassy from tears, stared unseeingly at our backyard._

"_Sasuke, I'm…I shouldn't…" He was holding me close to his body, trying to console me as he rubbed my back as gently as he could. I held onto him, shaking, but forgiving him at the same time._

_Naturally, I blamed myself for what had happened. It was my fault for touching him like I did. I brought it upon myself._

_Soon, my tears stopped, but my grip on his shirt didn't loosen. His hands were soft on my back, touching me once more like porcelain. I didn't mind to soft caresses, thankful for these and not the other, harsher touches._

"_Sasuke, do you hate me?" He whispered. His voice was raw, as if he'd been crying, too. I shook my head, still holding on tight to him. I didn't want to let him go, despite how much he had scared me. I didn't want him to leave me for denying him._

"_Nii-san," I croaked, hoarse from my tears. I turned my face to look at him. "I'm…sorry." He looked at me, astonished at my apology._

"_You did nothing wrong, Sasuke," he murmured, kissing my lips slowly, carefully. I shook my head when he pulled back from me._

"_I…I didn't let…I was just startled! We can…keep…going…" my voice trailed off, my body disagreeing with my words._

"_No we can't, little brother. I've already explained that you can't _do_ that with me just yet. Tonight's proof that you've still got, at the very least, a year before I can touch you like that." My eyes watered from the rejection, and I lashed out at him._

"_You just like Shisui better than me—that's why!" I shouted at him. I shocked him for a second time._

"_Where would you get that ridiculous idea?" He asked me seriously, voice soft and placating._

"_You; you only do that with Shisui, so you _must_ like him more than me," I accused. His lips touched mine delicately, his tongue licking slowly along my top and bottom lips. I parted them for him, letting him have the access he so desired. The tongue ran leisurely against mine, coaxing it to respond to the small, exaggerated movements. I tried, letting my tongue wrap along his. Brother pulled back, and my eyes had a hard time fluttering open._

"_Never think about that, little brother," he whispered. I didn't want to let it go, but I had a strong feeling that if I didn't, he would get angry with me. So I changed the subject, my half-lidded eyes giving me the perfect topic._

"_Nii-san…I'm tired." I yawned to emphasize the statement. Brother tenderly held me in his arms as he stood up, silently obeying my wish for sleep. He didn't grab his blanket, though._

"_Nii-san, your blanket," I reminded him, but he looked at me and smiled softly._

"_I'll get it later," he replied, kissing the top of my head. I blushed._

"_But nii-san…I want to…to…" Brother smiled down at me._

"_You want to what, Sasuke?" My face heated more as he was making me confess._

"_I want to…spend the night with you," I muttered, embarrassed at being made to say it._

"_I can still get it later," he replied, but I wasn't going to have it. He was not leaving me._

"_No you can't," I retorted obstinately for the seven year-old that I was. "I don't want you to leave." An emotion I couldn't recognize flitted across his face before he nodded in assent. He stooped to grab the blanket from the ground, holding it in one of his hands._

"_Just for tonight, though." I buried my face in his chest, happy that I could stay with him, if only for tonight._

* * *

I started, my eyes dilating as I shot upright. I had almost forgotten that memory. We fell asleep together on his bed that night. I was curled against his chest, and one of his arms was draped over me protectively, affectionately. I recalled how his hand stroked my hair absently until I was no longer conscious.

My brother's shirt drifted from my chest to my lap from my sudden movement. Hot, boiling rage filled me as I look at the black material blending perfectly with the navy blanket. God damn it! Before I could stop myself, my already-injured fist had slammed painfully into the rocky ground beneath me. I cursed loudly, holding my hand, glaring at the shirt.

My eyes softened when I realized I was leering at a piece of fabric. Ridiculous, I thought as I lifted it up to my chest as I lay back down. My head rested once more on my pack as I gingerly positioned my injured hand on top of the cloth, eyes still blinking from the vivid memory. Uneasily, I settled myself for sleep. I was going to need it if I was going to be able to start tracking him tomorrow.

* * *

**_TBC..._**


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: Wow, another update...that's slightly on time. Thanks for the reviews everyone!**

**My, My Sasuke**

**By: Apherion**

**Chapter 6**

* * *

Light broke through the trees, spilling onto my face in the cave. I turned over, moaning. I did not want to wake up. After the dream of one of my past memories, the idea of sleeping had been shot. Call it sex-drive, call it my libido, whatever the hell it was, was not going to let me do what I wanted unless it had been appeased. But for the first time, ever, it felt wrong, impure, and not of the innocence that I had so long ago. After all, I couldn't innocently seek release; there was nothing innocent about that act.

I stuffed the blanket and the shirt haphazardly in my bag. The sooner I could get both out of sight, the better—or so I had believed.

* * *

The town came into view a couple of hours later, people up and going about their daily jobs. I could still smell the bread that had been baked thirty minutes before I had shown up. I didn't eat one, nor did I buy any sort of produce that was being displayed. No, my hunger had exceeded food for a yearning of something considerably less substantial, however gloriously more satiating.

I found the one inn, and attempted to gain information from the keeper. When I tried describing the man I was looking for, mentioning the cloak for starters—black with red clouds—the inn's owner just shook his head at me.

"I'm sorry, but I haven't lent a room to either person. If they come here though, I'll be sure to let them know that you're looking for them. What was your business with the two again?" The man seemed to really care that I find my brother. I was grateful for the help, but I was confident that he wouldn't come back here.

"Tell the man with red eyes that his brother is looking for him." I only said it to be safe, in case I was wrong.

"Oh, all right, I'll make sure he gets the message, if I see him." I nodded and thanked him, leaving as smoothly as I had entered.

How far was the next town from this one? Would he have even stopped by the next town? I sat down on a bench near a flower shop. I closed my eyes and thought, hard. Where would I go to search for him? Should I start asking if anyone has heard any rumors about a demon possessed human?

A sinking feeling formed in my stomach. Naruto had been the last of the possessed. I slumped on the bench, feeling as though I had come to a dead end.

"Excuse me," a child's voice came from my right. I carefully took a sideways glance at her before giving the girl my full attention. She was pretty for nine or ten. Her hair was wispy and blond, the golden hue so pale it was almost silver. Her wide, brownish-black eyes gave her a soft expression, with pastel pink lips forming a smile.

"I'm sorry, but I couldn't help but notice how much you looked like a client of mine," she said cheerfully. As I began to straighten my posture on the bench, I could tell this foreign-looking girl appeared closer to her teens rather than her adolescent years. I didn't know how to reply to her because I wasn't paying attention to what she was prattling on about. However, my input wasn't needed, and she carried on her monologue.

"He said that I was supposed to give you this, should I ever see you. Mind you, I would have gotten rid of this had he not paid me well—it's been a month or so since he burdened me with this task." God, she sounded like a mix between Ino and Sakura. I took the card that she was offering me and she skipped away in her white, lace dress, returning to her childlike form.

"Strange," I muttered under my breath as I flipped the card over to slit it open. Wedging a finger between the two glued pieces of paper, I flicked my wrist in a quick, simple motion that left a flawless opening to the contents inside. I shook the envelope until the letter slid out and my heart shot into my throat.

I hadn't registered what the blond girl was saying. A client that I looked like told her to give this to me.

The handwriting was _his_.

_Sasuke, you have become amusing over the years, but I'm tired. You're tired. This needs to quit. My foolish little brother, follow me._

I stared at the letter, flipping it over to see an illustration of the Hidden Cloud Village with a discreet name _Tsuuri_. Why would he want to lead me to the Cloud Village? Frustrated and angry, I fisted handfuls of my black hair, yanking on them at different intervals. As I did this, a woman ushered her two children hurriedly away from me, glaring at me muttering 'crazy people' all the while. I must have looked a sight to them.

I quit throwing my miniature tantrum, and slid the letter back into its envelope. I had a choice to make: follow the letter or let him come to me. I could imagine what would happen if I didn't do as he asked. If I didn't follow him…his ire would burn hotter than his Mangekyo Sharigan. The thought made me shiver.

* * *

I was sopping wet. My dragging feet weren't attentive enough to catch on the rocks I had been walking across like a miniature bridge. I woke from my daze when I missed the rock I was expecting to step on, tumbling into the river.

The current was quick, and I had to result to using chakra to free myself from the water; thus, my current state. I sneezed, and I was angry for not paying attention.

I should have stopped sooner. I knew that I was useless if I went for ten hours straight, and yet, I pushed forward, peaking at a thirteen-hour trek towards the Hidden Cloud Village.

"And I fucking go for a swim," I growled. This was not what I needed. My haste, the reason why I kept pushing onward, was so I could see him.

Still upset with what happened, I began emptying my pack in hopes of drying what I could and tossing what couldn't be salvaged. Once I had his shirt and blanket hanging to drip-dry, I began searching for twigs and small branches on the ground. I could afford to start a fire tonight.

With a small bundle gathered in my arms, I laid them down and proceeded to dig a pit in the ground to set the wood in. I set rocks around the pit to help prevent any loose brush from catching fire. Sighing, I grabbed a piece of flint that I kept in my bag along with one relatively straight branch.

Minutes later, I had a small fire going. The crackling and popping of the brush and tiny pieces of wood were soothing to me, easing my mind. I continued adding wood to the fire, keeping it going, but in the dancing flames, I could see the one memory that hurt me the most.

* * *

_Summer was almost over, and Brother, Shisui, and I were going camping, heavily encouraged by our parents. I was packing for the trip the night before when he came into my room, startling me. His hand covered my mouth, quieting me._

"_I have a mission I have to go on tonight, little brother," he whispered softly. I glared at him as only a child could._

"_But we're going camping!" I protested, pouting at him. My lower lip jutted out, my eyes looking up at my brother with the proper amount of emotion. His fingers locked around my chin, pulling me into him. His lips covered mine, massaging them tenderly. His tongue swept across my lips, and I opened them, less shy about these kisses. I didn't really have to think on these kisses, allowing my instincts to be my guide when Brother couldn't be._

_He drank me in, his mouth hot as he delved into mine. I clutched at his neck, my _still_ too small fingers getting lost in the length of his hair. I felt the hand supporting the back of my neck tilt my head back just enough to give him a deeper angle to ravish me._

_Before I wanted it to be over, it was. His lips receded slowly, prolonging the connection between the two of us. Then his lips pressed firmly against mine for a second longer only to draw away completely._

_I sighed, still trying to catch up to the kiss, my chest rising and falling labouredly. Brother smiled down at me, ruffling my hair affectionately._

"_Don't worry; I'll be back in time. I promise you," he said gently. He moved closer to me, his lips ghosting over mine as he continued to speak. "With these lips, I promise you," he murmured, kissing me again. He left then, turning away from the room, from _me_._

_I didn't know want told me to do it, but something told me to follow him, to watch him. I chased after him. Our parents had already turned in for the night, so they didn't see me escape after my brother._

_I followed the route I thought he went, watching assiduously for any signs of a change in direction from my brother. I justified my actions with a simple 'I wanted to see him leave'. He wasn't leaving the Leaf Village though; he hadn't even left the district. I saw his silhouette, sharp against the light of the moon. He was walking towards Shisui's home._

_I followed him, still. Beyond curiosity now; I knew the old adage, but I didn't heed it like I probably should have. I saw him tap on Shisui's window quietly, from my hiding spot several meters away. Shisui's hands had thrown open the window, almost yanking Brother in through the gap between window and sill._

_What was I doing? I was moving closer to the window, not-so-innocent eyes watching the scene unfolding beyond the window._

_If there was a word for what I saw, it would be passion._

_Shisui took him into his arms, pulling him tight to his arms. His lips; I watched with longing. Shisui's lips made my brother submit to him and I heard my brother moan wantonly for the first time._

_An emotion flashed through me, envy? No, this feeling was jealousy, dark and unrestrained. I watched as Shisui lifted my brother's shirt from his torso, peeling away the black apparel with ease. Pale hands groped an even paler chest, exposed before my eyes as a third-party and not a participant._

_My heart clenched for some reason, and the jealousy rose like bile in the back of my throat. I swallowed with difficulty. I couldn't look away; my eyes were glued to the couple._

_Brother's hands tugged on our cousin's shirt, stripping the elder of the top in between hot kisses that left trails of saliva running down my brother's chin. I felt my body ache, calling out for the man too consumed by another to notice me. It hurt worse than anything I had experienced, worse than when we had tried to do what he and Shisui were now about to do._

_I knew they were going to, and I watched Shisui with resentment, hating him for being able to have what I could not._

_Shisui's hands gripped the waistband of the pants his cousin was wearing, yanking Brother into him, grinding their hips together. I heard to the soft whimper of pleasure that passed from my brother's lips. Shisui's fingers unbuckled the jeans, pulling them to the floor as he knelt before my brother. I didn't have a good angle to see what Shisui was doing now, but I watched _his_ face._

_I couldn't tear my eyes away from the beauty. I had never seen him like this. My heart twisted. I had never seen the pure joy—ecstasy?—on my brother's face. He had never experienced that with me. He always looked in pain every time we were together._

_I was taken from my thoughts when I heard him gasp, his eyes widening and his hands reach down, knotting in Shisui's hair then sliding down to clutch his shoulders._

_Our cousin stood up, crashing his lips over my brother's. Instead of the clear liquid that dripped from the corner of Brother's mouth, it was white, stark against the flush overcoming Brother's features._

"_You like how you taste, don't you?" Shisui muttered, pressing his body hard against my brother. A moan shot from the younger of the two, and Shisui repeated the gesture, earning the same reaction._

_Shisui forced Brother backwards towards the bed, pushing him down. I couldn't see much, and so I opted to move closer. I could see my brother lying beneath Shisui, shaking a little. Shisui's pants had been stripped while I had moved, and he was pouring over his cousin with his visible hand on my brother's waist, while I had no clue where the other was._

"_More…" Brother cried softly, begging almost. His eyes were shut, his cheeks blushing. How could Brother kiss me like he does and leave me to do _this_ with someone else?_

"_How much more, Ita-kun," Shisui whispered huskily. I heard my brother groan. "This much, or do you want something else entirely?" My breathing caught, and my face darkened out of embarrassment and anger._

"_Something…else…" he panted to our cousin, who was positioned in between my brother's legs. My young eyes watched in fascination, anticipation, and jealousy._

"_What do you want me to do to you, Ita-kun?" Shisui purred silkily to my brother. I had to strain my ears for my brother's response._

"…_fuck me," was all I could make out before I heard something that burnt into my memory. My brother's voice, more striking than his earlier moans had been. It wasn't even loud. The sigh just barely cleared his lips, but it was enough to tell me that he had been yearning for this for a long time. It was enough to tell me I wasn't enough for him yet, and the fact tore my heart more than watching him and our cousin having sex._

* * *

I was tired of waiting for him. I needed to see him, I needed _him_. I let my eyes close as I let my hand travel down my stomach, into my still-drying clothes. I wasn't going to be able to last if I waited until the Cloud Village. My touch was not what I wanted; it hadn't been what I wanted in five years.

I closed my eyes and imagined him being here, like I had so many times before. I pictured him touching, stroking me and my hand followed the image's lead. I bit my lip, arching into the hand running up and down my heated flesh. I gripped tighter, rocking my hips, drawing out soft moans from myself. I was so close now; I could feel the familiar tightening in my stomach.

My hand moved faster as I pressed into it with my hips. I felt my cheeks warming from the pre-orgasmic high. Then, my lips betrayed me, and I uttered his name as I came into my hand. My head tilted back, as I rode it out, loving the feeling—hating it because the one that caused this twisted lust wasn't here to rectify the situation.

"My, my Sasuke; a little impatient are we?"

The color drained out of my face and my hand removed itself from the confines of my pants.

"Itachi…"

* * *

**_TBC..._**


	7. Chapter 7

****

A/N: Forgive me for the late chapter. I've been really busy with school and trying to finish the first part to a KH fic that I've been working on for a year. Sorry for the excuses, too, lol. **Hope you enjoy!**

**My, My Sasuke**

**By: Apherion**

**Chapter 7**

* * *

_Itachi._

The name slipped from my lips like it was meant to be said.

I sat there, waiting for him to come closer to the light, dying to see what he looked like to me now. Would he change at all from how I recalled him?

Yes; he was more than I could have imagined.

As he stepped closer, his long, black locks curved around him, hugging his shoulders. The pieces were not tied back, either. He left them to dance on the soft breeze wafting in the night. His midnight bangs concealed his eyes, but barely.

The red reflected the fire's glow, glinting terrifyingly so. I didn't flinch away from him, although I was still rigid as he advanced on me.

His pace was measured, slow. God was it slow! It was as if he was inching towards a skittish animal. I couldn't criticize him for his approach. After all, I was doing nothing to reach him, to touch him. I wanted to so badly; I wanted him _so bad_.

I could see his face in the embers of my fire. Pallid and tired looking, the lines were more prominent than ever underneath his eyes. I recalled tracing those lines, less harsh than they are now, so long ago. I swallowed with difficulty, watching him with enraptured eyes.

The cloak on his shoulders looked like silk as he deftly slid it from his body, laying it on the ground near the fire; near to where I sat transfixed, thinking I was hallucinating because he did not speak save for the one sentence.

I dropped my eyes to his feet, catching him stare at me. I bowed my head in the shame of it. He knelt before me, and I blinked up at him from underneath my lashes. My mouth went dry, my lips felt parched; I licked them hurriedly to alleviate the chapped feeling.

"After everything, you still want this?" That was all he said, and he didn't give me time to answer.

His lips seared mine, massaging the skin roughly, hotly, forcing my lips open. I did not fight; I became submissive at once to him. I reached for his neck, my arms long enough to do this. I crushed myself against him, finding my tongue to slide against his.

His hand knotted in my hair, yanking my head back to deepen the kiss. He made it clear that he dominated me, forcing me against the ground. I could feel saliva sliding down my chin. Slowly, his tongue retreated and his lips pulled away along with it. His hand was still tied in my hair, and he pressed our foreheads together to stare me in the eye.

He stayed there, our foreheads touching, watching me. My hands shook as I fought to keep my limbs under control. I wanted to launch myself at him. I wanted to touch him without restraints.

I wanted to _finally_ welcome him back home, back to me.

I lifted myself up, using my hand to brace against his back, and I shyly brought my lips to his. He remained patient with me, letting the burning feeling eat at me slowly as I brushed our lips together. He even allowed me to sit up completely, pulling me along with him.

I felt my hands begin to slide in between us, letting my fingers grope for those perfect muscles that I had been missing.

I was like a blind man reading brail for the first time. My hands went in every direction, but the picture was soon blooming behind my closed lids in my mind's eye.

I reached beneath that shirt, shuddering into our kiss as his tongue breached the opening of my mouth. I smiled as my hands grasped at his chest, and I felt my fingertips glide down his perfect torso unhurriedly. I jumped when I felt one of his hands dip below my waistband, rubbing against my backside.

My pants were starting to become a restriction for me as my brother's hand traveled from below the waistband to my collarbone in soft, tickling movements. I was straining in the kiss, trying to hold myself up while trying to alleviate the sudden pressure that my jeans were providing.

My hands drifted from underneath his shirt to touch the button at his pants, but as I made the movement, he was pulling away from me. I felt my hands spasm against the clothing, trying to hold fast as he moved away. His lips were gone, but my hands were still tight on his clothes. My lips were still open, frozen in the broken kiss I wasn't ready to give up on yet. My heart pulled as his hands forced open mine so he could make the gap between us larger.

I stared up at him as he stood over me, gaping like a fish out of water. My mind didn't comprehend why he was doing this—turning away now, of all times!

"I'm sorry, I can't. I just…can't," and he looked away from me. My eyes watered and my nose began to burn. I cast myself forward, onto my knees. I began to blubber like the weakling he made me to be.

"No, no, no, no! No! You promised! You _promised_ me!" I broke down then as rejection took its hold on me. My hands, my head fell into my hands as I shook with sobs. He didn't want me; he didn't _want_ me.

His hand touched the top of my head, slipping beneath one of my hands to cup my cheek, but I wasn't comforted by the gesture. I wanted to hit that hand away from my face, but my heart wouldn't let me. My broken heart wouldn't let me touch him. I dropped that hand, and I fisted it against my knees. I couldn't stop the words now, old enough now to realize what I was accusing him of.

"Is Shisui all you want?" I shouted from at his feet. The hand on my face broke away, recoiling back to its owner. I received no answer, and I pressed my face into my hand while the fist at my knees hit against my clothed legs.

"You've only wanted Shisui—so why did you kill him?" I yelled, shrinking away as I felt his hands grasp my shoulders painfully. He shook me, to make me look at him, his eyes fiery red.

"Why?" I asked him, my voice shaking as I looked into those deep crimson eyes. The eyes that were the color of the blood that was on his hands.

"Sasuke," he spoke in a raw whisper. "I never…" My heart trembled as he looked into my eyes with earnest sincerity. I turned my head, my eyes on the ground.

"Then why can't we? I'm old enough. _I'm old enough!_" I could feel him flinch as I screamed, tears still leaking out of my eyes.

"I know you are. You don't think I _know_? I've been waiting; wishing that you'd see me like you did back then. I was losing hope." He choked while his hands were still so tight on my shoulders. "I was giving up—I was going to let you _kill_ me, but your eyes told me how hard it was for you to fight me."

"And you left me for dead." I felt his fingers twitch on my shoulders, but I didn't look.

"I _had_ to; you can't build a reputation for ten years only to knock it down because your brat of a brother—of a _lover_—finally makes up his mind!" I shut my eyes, shaking my head.

"No, you just want me to think—"

"I refuse to let you be what Shisui was to me—you won't be just that to me!" My eyes shot open wide, the words piercing me through. I _had_ to look at him now. His chest was heaving, and his eyes were coal black, the color that I had yearned to see for so long.

The tears streaked down my face, and his hands slid up my shoulders to cup my face in both of his hands while his thumbs brushed away the tears. I closed my eyes again, my heart hurting too much to think about it.

"W-what are you saying?" I whimpered as his hands caressed my face, my hair. I felt his breath on my face, feeling his lips ghosting over my forehead, my nose, my lips.

"I _refuse_ to just have sex with you. I won't wake up without you in my bed. You are mine, Sasuke, and no one else's." Itachi's voice was emotional, and I had never heard my brother talk to me like this. He sounded ready for tears himself.

"But…Shisui…you had that with him, didn't you?" He pressed his lips roughly against mine, massaging the back of my neck in his velvet touch. His tongue delved into my mouth, desperately searching for my response to him as I did not reciprocate his kiss. He pulled back, his eyes begging me for something.

"Shisui was never you, Sasuke," he said as he shook his head, his hands moving to clasp mine.

"I saw you two, I _saw everything_!" I cried. "The night before we were supposed to go camping, I watched you and him." I was breathing hard, tears spilling over. "You never once had that expression of _fulfillment_ with me. You always looked like it pained you to be with your 'brat of a brother'." I spat his quotation back at him. "I only wanted you to have that same expression with me. I only wanted to make you that happy!"

"You do, Sasuke. I _am_ happy with you."

"But you refuse to _fuck me_ like him!" I shouted back at him, my lips tight as I cried. His hands stiffened against mine, the grip no longer soft.

"Because no one you love should ever be _fucked_," he hissed. Anger tinged his words, but I didn't let up.

"That's _bullshit_! I want you to…I want you inside of me," I whimpered, a new wave of tears spilling over my cheeks. I felt his hot tongue sweep along my cheek, licking the saline from my face. His sweet, hot breath made my body ache for him. Swallowing was difficult as one of his hands removed itself from mine, stroking against my inner thigh. My breathing became hitched, as his hand touched me through the fabric. He kissed me with as much honesty that he could muster, and then he broke the kiss.

"I want to wait, Sasuke," he murmured against my lips, his eyes staring into mine. I stared back as best as I could, arching into that devilish hand that was interested in my thigh.

"I don't," I retorted, covering his hand with my own. His groan was muffled as he bit his lip as I guided his hand against me. His other hand caught hold of my wrist, yanking it together with the other.

"If you are _so anxious_," he breathed huskily, as his hips pressed hard against mine. I cried, getting in a state of unrest. "Then I'll let you have your way—but I will not be an animal, Sasuke." He pronounced my name slowly, emphasizing it with too much sensuality. I didn't know or care what he meant. All I knew was that I was suffocating in his grasp, waiting for him to alleviate the thick air around me.

He lifted me then into his arms, cradling me to his chest like he had done so long ago. This simple touch made my heart soar into my throat. I was ready for him.

"You should rest," he murmured, nuzzling my hair with the softness that I had once categorized as his cattish affection. He was right, I probably should, but I was too keyed up to obey him. He was electricity in my veins. I wouldn't be able to sleep with _that_ attacking me.

He looked down at me expectantly, but I blinked back up, unable to comply with his will. He smiled back, his lips cracking from the unused expression.

"You are still going to have to wait a little while, little brother." His smile softened as it continued to don his face. His lips brushed against mine smoothly. I felt the kiss through my nerve endings, searing them with heat and an indescribable high, and my hands reached to coax more of the drug from him.

He did not allow me to have another kiss; rather he laid me back on the ground. I watched him with questioning eyes as he walked away. He didn't go far though, grabbing his shirt and his blanket from the tree branch that I had hung them on. He plucked both from where they hung, casting the blanket over his shoulder and holding his shirt in his hand.

When he returned, he dropped his shirt onto his cloak and laid the blanket out beside me. I didn't know if he wanted me to get on it. He grabbed his shirt and cloak and moved to lie down on the blanket. He smirked at my uncertainty, beckoning me to his side with a gentle hand.

Was this how we were going to…? I swallowed past the lump that had formed in my throat, moving to his side.

"Lie down, Sasuke," he whispered, and I followed the command, lying my head down on the blanket next to him. I heard his soft chuckle and he lifted my head until it rested against his chest. I curled into him instinctively, thoroughly confused at his actions towards me.

I was still rigid against him, despite how comfortable I was glued at his side. His hand rubbed against my shoulder, kneading the flesh gently beneath his capable fingers. The electricity shot through me again.

"I'll make you sleep," he murmured in a warning tone. Oh, so we really were only going to sleep.

"But," I started to protest, but his thumb pressed a little too hard against the pressure point in between my shoulder and my neck. I slipped into unconsciousness, cradled in my brother's arms.

* * *

**_TBC..._**


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N: All right! Finally. Chapter 8 and the final chapter (until I deem that this story could actually have a plot beyond sex). Seriously, I didn't know what the point of this story was supposed to be besides Sasuke and Itachi having their personal "Uchiha taboo lemon-festivities". Thanks for all the reviews, everyone. I really appreciated them.**

**My, My Sasuke**

**By: Apherion**

**Chapter 8**

* * *

My hand reached out when I felt that his warmth had receded from me. I sat up, blinking, looking for him. He wasn't in sight.

My heart thudded against my chest, and I felt panicky. I became too absorbed in myself, afraid that he had abandoned me. I didn't take the time to notice that the atmosphere had shifted minutely.

"Boo," he whispered too close to my ear. I started, yelping and jerking away from him. He did not laugh at me, but a slight smile overcame his features. I breathed heavily, staring at him with wide eyes.

"Why did you _do_ that?" I asked shakily as I got to my feet. Itachi reached out for me, grasping my wrist. His fingers were cool against my flesh as he tugged me closer to him. His smile morphed into something that suited his predator nature.

He lowered his head towards mine; lips, nose, eyes in line with mine. I stood still, not breathing.

"I'm still your brother." Our lips touched as he spoke, as we stared into each other's eyes. I felt my face heat uncomfortably, and I looked away, too caught up in how close we were. The electricity was still there, burning me where our skin made contact. How, _how_ could he refuse me last night?

"Sasuke," he whispered, his fingers weaving through my black hair, ducking my head into his chest. I felt my breath coming in short gasps, and I was clutching at his shirt desperately. I wanted to _jump_ him. His lips brushed along the shell of my ear, sending aching shivers coursing through my being.

"Restraint is key, little brother," he murmured, taking his hand away from my hair and letting it drift to the small of my back. I jerked into his body, longing for his hot breath against my throat.

I was denied again, and Itachi pulled away from me, relieving my smaller digits from their onerous hold on his upper body. Ever so slowly, he stroked one finger along my palm, soft and soothing—great and electrifying. He was either teasing me or testing me, seeing how far he could push me before I screamed in wanton—I mean, until my small storage of resolve broke.

"If you get your things now, we can make it to Hiroki just before nightfall." His calm demeanor did not betray the double-meaning, but there was a slight shift in his eyes. The change was tiny, minute, but I could see it, if only for the moment he spoke.

"Right," I said, noting that he had already held my bag. I wanted to ask him why we weren't continuing to _Tsuuri_, but I thought it better not to ask pointless questions that could come between me getting what I really wanted.

I quickly folded his blanket and dusted off his cloak, handing both to him. He stuffed the blanket in my pack, tossing it roughly into my chest. I caught it, grunting from the sheer force my brother had exerted on it. There was no mistaking the look in his eyes now. 'Those won't be the only bruises you'll sustain for today,' his eyes seemed to say to me. I couldn't stop the shiver that racked through me.

The trek through the forest went as well as to be expected.

I was impatient, and I didn't care. I was just hours away from have my mind sufficiently _blown_ and I couldn't wait anymore. I was at my limit, or I thought I was.

It didn't help that every chance he got, he made my journey more difficult to manage. His fingers would periodically splay across my neck, toying with the tendrils of my hair that hung at the nape. Whenever he deemed we needed a break, he would whisper so erotically into my ear. I could feel his eyes devouring me, stripping me of my clothes. That heated, lusty feeling that tore through me began to increase steadily as the town approached.

I swallowed convulsively, realizing what I was about to embark on. He knew I longed for it terribly; if he hadn't, he wouldn't have tried to make the last nine or so hours sexually-deprived hell.

"Look," I whispered to him, noticing an inn when we had entered the town. He barely shook his head before leaning into my ear, licking the shell lasciviously before speaking.

"There's an inn deeper in the city," he murmured huskily. My breathing stopped and I couldn't swallow, the pain in my groin started up again. It became almost unbearable when he placed a hand on the small of my back to push me along. I tried to keep my mind focused on everything but his body heat radiating behind me, counting how many steps it took for Itachi to lead us to the inn he preferred.

"Here," he whispered softly, his lips brushing against my jawbone. I was biting the insides of my cheeks to prevent my pathetic whimpers. He immediately broke contact from me, but I could still feel every particle of him, as though our heartstrings were attached. Itachi opened the door, and we both stepped inside.

The man at the register did not wait for my brother to say a word. He called up his staff without delay and made sure that we were shown immediately to our room. The man had that look in his eyes, too. I wanted to accuse him, as I looked up at my brother with eyes that had been abandoned ten or eleven years ago. I wanted to say, 'You've threatened him before, _nii-san_,' but I couldn't find my voice. Itachi's eyes met mine, and this time he groaned mutely.

"Don't look at me with those eyes," he muttered in a strained voice. I smirked, and knew that my innocent face had been lost. He pinned me to a wall then, his lips harsh against my ear. "God, I'm going to have you _sobbing_." He pulled away then and followed behind the maid showing us to the room.

She unlocked the door, gave Itachi the key, and hastened down the steps. The same frightened look was in her eyes as the man at the register. Itachi did not go inside the room though. He stood there, waiting for the girl to get far enough away. I couldn't hear her footsteps anymore.

His hand was quick, and it yanked me by my collar, throwing me into the room. He shut the door behind himself, locking it, and setting the key on the table beside the door. His eyes were black, staring me down as he advanced like the predator he was. I dropped my bag to the floor.

He swept his hand behind my head, yanking my hair back, covering my mouth with his. I moaned, clutching at him, trying to bring him closer to me. His lips were hard and insistent, his tongue forcing my lips open. He raped my mouth, sucking and purring in a way I had never experienced before. I felt ready to melt into him already.

He broke for air, not letting me catch my breath as he began to grind our hips together. I cried out softly, his mouth hot against mine, tongue wrapping around mine and pulling on it. I saw stars behind my eyelids as his hands shoved my hips against his, and I moaned again.

"This is payback," he whispered between kisses, "for when you were too young to do this with." He lifted me up, wrapping my legs around his waist. Our erections rubbed more fiercely through our clothes.

"I thought," I panted, "that you got rid of your…frustrations with…" His hands were still hard on my waist, forcing me down against him.

"Ha," he breathed in mock laughter, lips bruising my throat before biting down hard on the pale flesh. I screamed. "Never…when you were…little…I wanted to…" he trailed off, stripping me of my shirt while I clutched to his waist with my legs. He slammed me against the wall, shocking me, making me lose my hold on him. He used my astonishment to remove the last vestiges of clothes. I was naked against his fully clothed body, just like it used to be so many years ago.

"What…did you…want to do?" I asked, squeaking as he panted against my chest, licking at my hardening nipples. He bit one, while a hand came up and twisted the other. I writhed against him.

He threw me against the bed, still not answering. Adrenaline shot through my veins along with the electricity as he began to restrain my arms to the bedposts. He bruised my lips, brushing them with heavy insistency, breaking away sloppily.

"I wanted to…break you in half…" he whispered, bending down to nip more at my flesh, leaving long, slick trails of his saliva over my body. I froze beneath him, his spit cooling my flesh.

"W-why?" I asked, feeling his finger trace circles around the inside of my thigh. Itachi reached up and let my arms ago, flipping our positions. He lay beneath me now, and he was holding back his sighs of contentment. I could _see_ that in his face now.

"Just thinking about it," he sighed heavily, and I felt his member pressing into my stomach through his clothes. "Ngh, mm—just think about it—do you remember what you looked like?" I muttered an assent and he continued. "Can't you see…your small, little body…with your back against my…chest as my hands make…you straddle my waist—mm—more while I'm shoving…so _deep_ into you…forcing you on me, to meet me for every thrust…while you're crying…begging for more…begging to stop…but begging for more—ngh!" He bit his lip to hide the moan. I reached for his pants, fumbling with the button there. He arched his hips up, letting me pull the jeans from his person.

"Sasuke," he whispered, his hands searching for me as I leaned down against him. I wasn't afraid of doing this. I was willing to do as much as Shisui had, but I didn't want to overestimate my willingness.

My lips brushed up and down his shaft lightly, barely touching the appendage. I was gauging my ability to do this. I decided that I could, no, I _would_ do this. I opened my lips and let my tongue slid against the tip as I wrapped a steadying hand around the base. He arched again into my touch. _My_ touch was turning him on. It was _me_ that he was seeing. His hands found my hair when I encased him entirely in my mouth.

My tongue sucked against him, rolling around his erection, pulling him further into my mouth. I hummed deftly, feeling him twitch in the hot, wetness of my mouth. I bobbed against him, teeth scraping just hard enough to get him off further.

"Keep going, Sasuke…oh—mm," he moaned, his fingers tightening in my hair. He pulled me away from his cock, dripping with a mixture of my saliva and his semen. It was the most delicious sight. He must have been at his own limit because he wouldn't let me finish.

I watched him with wide eyes when he rubbed two of his fingers against his throbbing member before placing them in front of me. I just stared, not knowing what to do. I hadn't seen this before.

"I don't have any lube, Sasuke," he whispered huskily, testily. I still didn't catch on. My brain wasn't in a position for thinking after all. Sighing in an annoyed fashion, he pressed those two fingers against my lips and I opened up. Those fingers filled my mouth, and he commanded me to suck them.

I rolled my tongue between them, around them, and through them until I felt familiar warmth brushing against my own erect member. I tried to ask my question around his fingers, but he pumped the wicked digits in my mouth, and I choked feeling his tongue kneading _my_ tip.

He laughed, sending a shower of delicious shivers coursing through my spine.

I had never felt anything like his mouth, burning what was already hot. I arched off the bed, sobbing at his ministrations on my length, choking on his fingers in my mouth. He removed those, but my eyes were shut too tight to watch him. All that mattered was that he was sucking me down.

But then, the unfamiliar and yet still so familiar feeling was against my back. I gasped, opening my eyes to meet his as he inserted his fingers slowly into me. I felt him stretching me, and I bit my lip, throwing my head back. I tightened against the feeling, hating it, not enjoying this part. Itachi's tongue did _something_ though, and I forgot about the digits inside of me.

Before I knew what I was doing, I was meeting the shallow thrusts of his hand while he managed to lick my most intimate part. The hot coiled tightly in my stomach, boiling more and more. I arched into his mouth as he pressed his fingers deeper within me.

"I…I'm…" I halted in speech, gaping for air, looking for something to tie me to the world. I found his beautiful hair with my groping hands, and I clutched him against my body as I felt the heated rings burst. Itachi, however, did not stop working me over.

He continued to suck with my essence moistening his lips. His fingers were scissoring, pushing in and out. I gripped around those digits, slowly becoming aware that they were no longer satisfying me. I could feel myself hardening again, moaning brokenly when Itachi finally pulled away.

He knew all of the right ways to tease me, and he was extremely slow at removing his clothing. I wanted to reach for his pants, his shirt, something, but when I tried he pinned me to the bed, lips converging on mine.

"Beg," he commanded into my ear.

"_Nii-san_," I moaned against his cheek, trying to conjure up the face of a past time. "Please," I breathed, looking at him with innocent-enough eyes. Itachi removed the articles covering his beautiful body, so much and so unlike mine. His warmth enveloped me, his hair pooling across my chest as he poured over me.

I felt his hands adjusting my legs, wrapping them awkwardly around his back. I could feel his shoulder blades rubbing against my calves, but he was being uncharacteristically gentle with my body as he positioned himself near my entrance. Had I forgotten how he really acted with me, or was it because he didn't have to hold back anything?

"Please, please, _please nii-san_," I cried for him, and I saw a twisted smile flash across his face.

"If you insist," he purred and he thrust forward, tearing into me. I tightened around him instinctively, shutting my eyes and gripping the sheets tensely. Itachi tried to bury himself further into me, but it was no use. I could feel the real tears falling from my eyes.

"Relax," he murmured, kissing my neck faintly.

"It _hurts_!" I choked, the sob ripping through my throat. His hands covered mine, massaging them softly. I loosened my hold on the sheets and his hands continued to feel their way on my body. His lips touched under my chin.

"You have to relax, Sasuke, it won't hurt as bad. Relax, little brother, relax." With every soft word, I could feel him embracing me deeper. His tongue licked gently at the tears staining my cheeks before he kissed me. Soon, he was sheathed within my body. The pain was becoming more manageable.

"Did…did you do this for Shisui?" I asked tentatively, reaching up to stroke his hair. He just smiled, shaking his head.

"No…" he paused while his lips and tongue touched my face, tickling it. "Shisui did this for me." I nodded, rocking my hips backward, feeling the sharp pain again.

Itachi ignored my grimace, pulling out only to shallowly shift in me. I felt one of his hands drift to my waist, guiding me to meet his small strokes. I gasped, arching into him as he gradually began to deepen the thrusts. One in particular made me cling to him, breathless and shivering.

He kept hitting that spot, and my arms were wrapped around his neck as I moaned into his chest. Both of his hands were on my hips, rolling me over him hard and fast. I quivered, feeling how insistent the moves on my body were. Something bothered me, though. I couldn't hear Itachi saying anything in between my own gasped praises.

"…'Tachi…" I breathed against his skin. I ran my tongue along his collarbone, back and forth, and I let my right hand skim over his shoulder, across the back of his neck. He purred from the touch, reaching between us to grab my arousal. I moaned loudly, the combined friction of his hard thrusts and his hand moving tight against me was overwhelming.

The hot coil built again and I held onto him, bracing myself for the glorious impact. He pulled out of me, shoving in deep enough to brush that spot within me again just right. I shuddered into him, gasping as I came into his hand, convulsing over his member as he sought for his release, too. I clung to him as his body connected in mine, still shaking from my orgasm. Two more thrusts and he was with me, lying on top of me in the bed as we both waited to recover.

I woke up with my head on his chest in the inn's bed. What was I supposed to do now?

"Itachi," I whispered gently against his neck, and he immediately pinned me to the bed. He stared down at me; control the last thing on his mind as he bent down to lick my throat. I moaned, arching into the touch until I felt a spasm ricochet through my spine.

"Wasn't last night enough?" I asked as he grabbed my bride-like body.

"Sasuke, one night with you will never be enough."

* * *

**_THE END..._**


End file.
